No Job for a Man (15)

Another sleepless night last night, you know the sort, memories getting in the way of the good works of Morpheus.
I was widowed nearly a decade ago and left with two small kids. I was asked early on to hand the kids over because I was told "It's no job for a man". I didn't and neither did a neighbor of mine who had 4 young daughters to live with, who got the same suggestion.
So I decided ah what the hell there's something for the forum.
What do you think people??? Is it? Isn't it? and if not why not?

IMO, it's not the gender of the parent that matters but their parenting skills. I know a few men who are in your position or have full/joint custody of their children and they do as good if not a better job of bringing up their children than some women I know myself included.

So good on all you guys

The kiss was a slip of the mouse

We are all doing a good job....keep on doing....

Absolutely and I have nothing but admiration for a lot of people I have met on site who have had to deal with similar or more difficult circumstances.
The neighbor I was on about, he told the in laws who were really hassling him about custody, that they could have access for the first 6 months and after that f.... off and leave them be.
He has done a fine job with his 4 beautiful young women.
Its the principle of that statement that cut me to the bone that time.

As you asked ................

I believe that if a parent dies, it is vital that the children are with the other parent, firstly for their security. They know you, they are safe with you, they love you, they have been traumtised enough given a parent has died, the last thing they need is to loose the other parent. Think of the enormous abandonment issues they'd have IF the surviving parent "gave them away"..........

Having said that if an other family member took over parenting responsibilities, it would be, imo, vital that the surviving parent was part and parcel of their lives, say if that parent needed to work etc.

As far as I am concerned there is no gender issue here, men can and do as good a job as a woman in parenting. We are all required to parent ourselves in fact & that's a life long task for all of us.

In fact what is very sad, and is the experience of someone close to me, where the parents divorced and the father had little imput & contact in the childs life, that leaves deep scars for the child/children, as it has for this child. The father just didn't give this child his time. Now that's a crime. imo

So if you have reared your children, alone, like I did, well done to you. Parenting in my experience is the tougest job/vocation I have ever undertaken. In fact parenting is THE most selfless job we do in this life.

So to all parents...........Well done on the job you do.

no job for a man says who? these are modern times.....with modern ideas....sorry for your loss by the way....it is hard at first bein a single parent, but after a while, and as kids get older....it gets easier!....all you can do is do your best and make sure they are loved to the best of your ability!


keep up the good work!

Well Orion

i have never had children and maybe i shouldnt post here about this but i have a close friend who split from her husband and he couldnt be bothered to see the child..a lovely little boy and hardly any effort made at all .. I admire all parents who sacrifce for their chldren... you lost your wife and took on the role as both parents as did your friend and that is to be admired.. you are their father and they love you so why not... i see my friends 3 yr old not knowng now who his father is when he does eventually come to visit and its sad... you took the responsiblity for your children and i have enormous admiration for that...

dont you mean MOUTH