Joke Off tell em (26)
Two blondes walked into a building.
(You'd think one of 'em would've seen it!)
(You'd think one of 'em would've seen it!)
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A camel walks into a bar. The bartender comes over and says, "Hey guy, why the long face?"
...Wait, these are supposed to be good jokes, aren't they?
...Wait, these are supposed to be good jokes, aren't they?
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Did you hear about the fly who flew thru a screen door and strained himself?
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ladyfingers: Did you hear about the fly who flew thru a screen door and strained himself?
What do you see when the pillsbury doughboy bends over?
Doughnuts
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ladyfingers: Did you hear about the fly who flew thru a screen door and strained himself?
No but I heard about the duck who got his feet tangled up and goosed himself.
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The_Kansan: No but I heard about the duck who got his feet tangled up and goosed himself.
And I heard about the goose who forgot to duck and wound up with quacked lips.
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Why does a chicken coop have only 2 doors?
If it had 4 it would be a sedan...
If it had 4 it would be a sedan...
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Two gay Irish Guys. Johns Fitspatrick Patrick Fitsjohns..
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A giraffe walked into a bar and said:"The highballs are on me"
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A guy walk into a Bar winks at the girl at the end of the bar. Bartenter say you won't get any where with her she a lesbian, guy say, Whats that? Bartender says she likes women, Guy's buddy come in says to his friend why you crying..? Guys, says I just found out that I am a Lesbian....
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An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.
The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.
The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"
The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".
"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"
"Sure", Says the Englishman.
The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.
The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.
About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.
The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million ducks, not a million ducks".
The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".
The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.
The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"
The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".
"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"
"Sure", Says the Englishman.
The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.
The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.
About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.
The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million ducks, not a million ducks".
The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".
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? too long? I'll get back to the short ones..
What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?
What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
Is it mine?
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And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?"
And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority. The absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority. The absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
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The_Kansan: And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?"
And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority. The absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority. The absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
I think you made that one up..
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gooddogman: Two gay Irish Guys. Johns Fitspatrick Patrick Fitsjohns..
ok, i read it 3 times before i got it.------ This thread is Archived ------
Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
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Q. Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A. Because their plugged into a genius!
A. Because their plugged into a genius!
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ladyfingers: I think you made that one up..
Since I used to write comedy, it wouldn't all that surprising, but no, that one (the Jesus joke) was told to me.
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A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says. Little Johnny raises his hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,” he volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked young Johnny to describe the incident.
“Well,” he began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.
“It sure was!” said Johnny. “My kitty raised his back, went ‘Fffff, Fffff, Fffff’… and before he could say “F*ck!”, the Rottweiler ate him!”
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked young Johnny to describe the incident.
“Well,” he began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.
“It sure was!” said Johnny. “My kitty raised his back, went ‘Fffff, Fffff, Fffff’… and before he could say “F*ck!”, the Rottweiler ate him!”
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Created: May 2009
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The first Testicular cup was used in Hockey in 1874
100 years later the First Helmet was used.
It took that long for men to realize. That the brain is also important.....