MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE (6)

Jul 21, 2009 4:43 PM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
Crazylegs
CrazylegsCrazylegsDublin, Ireland71 Threads 6,737 Posts
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw the card.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7... Drive off.

*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow
easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page..
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Jul 21, 2009 4:45 PM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
Buddyf
BuddyfBuddyfdublin, Dublin Ireland13 Threads 801 Posts
thats like me in car parks leaving them i can never find the parking ticket!!
Jul 21, 2009 4:46 PM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
lancerbora
lancerboralancerboradublin, Dublin Ireland13 Threads 818 Posts
that is brilliant..!!!!

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

and kinda true...laugh
Jul 21, 2009 4:52 PM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
nvosiris
nvosirisnvosirismeath, Meath Ireland53 Threads 6 Polls 5,712 Posts
Crazylegs: A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw the card.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7... Drive off.

*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow
easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page..
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Guilty of a lot of the above but in a drive thru car wash...grin
Jul 21, 2009 10:46 PM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
melty1
melty1melty1Goolwa, South Australia Australia11 Threads 2 Polls 4,121 Posts
the process is quicker using husbands card! grin wink rolling on the floor laughing
Jul 22, 2009 3:58 AM CST MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
skimpydoo
skimpydooskimpydooDublin, Ireland170 Threads 3 Polls 4,805 Posts
Very good rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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by Crazylegs (71 Threads)
Created: Jul 2009
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