Big Air Force Lies 1. Base commander to the Inspector General: We're glad you're here.
2. Inspector General to the base commander: We're only here to help.
3. Me? I've never busted minimums.
4. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
5. We will be on time, maybe even early.
6. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
7. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
8.All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
9.I'm a member of the mile high club.
10. I only need glasses for reading. RULES AND REGULATIONS OF THE ARMY LIFE - - - THE BIBLE 1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work.
2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
3. Death, Other than Your Own: This is no excuse. If you can arrange the funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
4. Death, Your Own: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
5. Quantity of Work: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
6. Quality of Work: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
7. Advice from the Commanding Officer: Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
8. The senior officer is Always Right.
9. When the senior officer is Wrong, Refer to Rule 8.
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1. Base commander to the Inspector General: We're glad you're here.
2. Inspector General to the base commander: We're only here to help.
3. Me? I've never busted minimums.
4. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
5. We will be on time, maybe even early.
6. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
7. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
8.All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
9.I'm a member of the mile high club.
10. I only need glasses for reading.
RULES AND REGULATIONS OF THE ARMY LIFE - - - THE BIBLE
1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work.
2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
3. Death, Other than Your Own: This is no excuse. If you can arrange the funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
4. Death, Your Own: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
5. Quantity of Work: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
6. Quality of Work: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
7. Advice from the Commanding Officer: Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
8. The senior officer is Always Right.
9. When the senior officer is Wrong, Refer to Rule 8.