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She started her class by saying: 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, l ittle Johnny ?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked.
'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up already?'
* * * * * * * * * * *
The teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in maths class.
She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 3 and 6 and 174 and 601?'
Little Johnny quickly replied: 'ITV, Sky One, Five USA and the Cartoon Network!'
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny's class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'
Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'
* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?'
His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.'
Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Postman wants to buy Mum.'
* * * * * * * * * * *