would u date someone who kept u a secret from an ex??? (40)
curveee: well the second chance thing in my opinion is a no way but thats only listening to his side!!
as i always say there are 3 sides to every story hers, his and the truth!!!
but i do think the stepping back thing would be a good idea at the moment cause were only getting closer and i would hate to get hurt!!
as i always say there are 3 sides to every story hers, his and the truth!!!
but i do think the stepping back thing would be a good idea at the moment cause were only getting closer and i would hate to get hurt!!
Ok, I see you said it is his ex wife. All the more reason for him to tell her so she doesn't hear it elsewhere. I think the stepping back is a good idea for many reasons. Firstly you are not being over dramatic and it leaves him space to let things settle with his ex. And like you say, it prevents you and him getting closer before the time is right and lightens possible hurt for you.
The bottom line here is, having a new girlfriend 4 months after your marriage ends is probably a bit soon and likely to be the reason for his secretiveness...
curveee: its actually his ex wife!!!
but everything u said there is what i think but some of my friends think its a little strange that he hasnt told her but i feel it cause he hasnt got a hurtful bone in his body!!
its actually good to hear a mans point of view on this thanks stanley
but everything u said there is what i think but some of my friends think its a little strange that he hasnt told her but i feel it cause he hasnt got a hurtful bone in his body!!
its actually good to hear a mans point of view on this thanks stanley
you're welcome. Never lose faith in human nature or start to mistrust everyone you meet, not all blokes are bad types,, hope it works out for you
paphos: Ok, I see you said it is his ex wife. All the more reason for him to tell her so she doesn't hear it elsewhere. I think the stepping back is a good idea for many reasons. Firstly you are not being over dramatic and it leaves him space to let things settle with his ex. And like you say, it prevents you and him getting closer before the time is right and lightens possible hurt for you.
The bottom line here is, having a new girlfriend 4 months after your marriage ends is probably a bit soon and likely to be the reason for his secretiveness...
The bottom line here is, having a new girlfriend 4 months after your marriage ends is probably a bit soon and likely to be the reason for his secretiveness...
that is true too i thought it when he first told me he was only 4 months out of it but he was on dates with other people too b4 he met me so im hoping its not a rebound thing!!
im the kind of person who always looks for the good in people and never the bad its the way i was reared and im very honest and open kinda wear my heart on my sleeve but when were together its like...
ahhh who cares if she knows or not im with him now!!!
curveee: that is true too i thought it when he first told me he was only 4 months out of it but he was on dates with other people too b4 he met me so im hoping its not a rebound thing!!
im the kind of person who always looks for the good in people and never the bad its the way i was reared and im very honest and open kinda wear my heart on my sleeve but when were together its like...
ahhh who cares if she knows or not im with him now!!!
im the kind of person who always looks for the good in people and never the bad its the way i was reared and im very honest and open kinda wear my heart on my sleeve but when were together its like...
ahhh who cares if she knows or not im with him now!!!
You do seem like a lovely person and seeing the good in other people is a beautiful character trait. But see the good in yourself too and make sure everyone respects that and takes care of your feelings too.
stanley8m: Hi there , it sounds to me that he isnt telling his ex about you because she still has feelings for him, he has obviously moved on as he is seeing you but doesnt want to hurt his ex, sounds like a sensitive caring kind of bloke and if he treats his ex girlfriends feelings with kindness and consideration shows he isnt a nasty kind of person and thats a good sign for your future with him,. Think you should talk to him about it.
+1
I agree with this. I think he didnt want to tell his Ex about you up untill now for a few reasons. Should he tell his ex about every person he meets and starts a relationship with. It would only hurt the ex and not do anything for your relationship. Why do you want her to know. Is it to show he is serious about you. If and when he decides you and he are going to be a serious item then im sure it will come up. 2 months is about this time frame in my opinion but everyone is different. However it is getting close to xmass and it might be better to leave this until after. See who he spends the new year with.
Most important talk to him and get his views on this.
curveee: lmao well that reallllly didnt help but thanks for ur point of view i should have known it would be something like that coming from the skit you have on here with people!!!
Curvee i hope everything works out for the you
but can i just say that i do not think Boredguy was being funny in his reply to you as he is way too nice a man to say something hurtful in a situation like this i think he was just giving you a complement by saying what he said Topcat1972: +1
I agree with this. I think he didnt want to tell his Ex about you up untill now for a few reasons. Should he tell his ex about every person he meets and starts a relationship with. It would only hurt the ex and not do anything for your relationship. Why do you want her to know. Is it to show he is serious about you. If and when he decides you and he are going to be a serious item then im sure it will come up. 2 months is about this time frame in my opinion but everyone is different. However it is getting close to xmass and it might be better to leave this until after. See who he spends the new year with.
Most important talk to him and get his views on this.
I agree with this. I think he didnt want to tell his Ex about you up untill now for a few reasons. Should he tell his ex about every person he meets and starts a relationship with. It would only hurt the ex and not do anything for your relationship. Why do you want her to know. Is it to show he is serious about you. If and when he decides you and he are going to be a serious item then im sure it will come up. 2 months is about this time frame in my opinion but everyone is different. However it is getting close to xmass and it might be better to leave this until after. See who he spends the new year with.
Most important talk to him and get his views on this.
not even thinking of new year but thanks D i think she should know about me cause weve kind of moved from the first stage to the second and my ex knows about him only lately mind u cause i didnt think he needed to know until i knew for sure we were actually going to have a relationship so i suppose i should allow him the same!!!
and i will talk to him about it thanks
paphos: You do seem like a lovely person and seeing the good in other people is a beautiful character trait. But see the good in yourself too and make sure everyone respects that and takes care of your feelings too.
thanks a million have u ever considered a career in relationship counciling cause u have giving me alot to think about
thanks
nvosiris: Curvee i hope everything works out for the you but can i just say that i do not think Boredguy was being funny in his reply to you as he is way too nice a man to say something hurtful in a situation like this i think he was just giving you a complement by saying what he said
ahh i know he is a complete gent can see that by the way he goes on on here and the complement was lovely too boredguy if ur reading this thanks N
curveee: my ex knows about him only lately mind u cause i didnt think he needed to know until i knew for sure we were actually going to have a relationship so i suppose i should allow him the same!!!
and i will talk to him about it thanks
and i will talk to him about it thanks
Exactly my point. I wouldnt read too much into it and i feel after xmass is soon enough. Enjoy what you have together now and worry about the future in the future.
Best of luck. It does sound as things are going well for you
Topcat1972: Exactly my point. I wouldnt read too much into it and i feel after xmass is soon enough. Enjoy what you have together now and worry about the future in the future.
Best of luck. It does sound as things are going well for you
Best of luck. It does sound as things are going well for you
ahhh thanks D things are really good i think i just got a bit paranoid i mean everyone has a past especially at my age and a few children too so im just going to enjoy the now and think about the other stuff at a later stage!!!!!! hope he doest put his profile back up and see this or i will have some explaining to do think i better tell him just incase
nvosiris: What do you mean by that A ............ Did you read the whole thread ?
well if shes keeping me a secret from her ex, that means in my eyes that she isnt over him.. why would i want to date a girl that has other guys on her mind??
so id DROP THE LOAD, AND HIT THE ROAD!!! 
robpacciani: well if shes keeping me a secret from her ex, that means in my eyes that she isnt over him.. why would i want to date a girl that has other guys on her mind?? so id DROP THE LOAD, AND HIT THE ROAD!!!
OMG.................. do you work for Roadstone 
nvosiris: OMG.................. do you work for Roadstone
nope i dont lol... but if they want me to work for them, i will!
I would think 6 months is not really a long time, he was only 4 months away from his wife when he met you, I would be thinking either I was the rebound girl or he might be hoping that he still has a chance of getting back with the ex and thats why he hasnt told her yet. If she thought he had moved on and is with someone else that might be it for the 2 of them, it might just be a trial separation and hes just keeping his options open ??? But then again he didnt have to tell you he hasnt told her about you.
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
ladylumps: I would think 6 months is not really a long time, he was only 4 months away from his wife when he met you, I would be thinking either I was the rebound girl or he might be hoping that he still has a chance of getting back with the ex and thats why he hasnt told her yet. If she thought he had moved on and is with someone else that might be it for the 2 of them, it might just be a trial separation and hes just keeping his options open ??? But then again he didnt have to tell you he hasnt told her about you.
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
ladylumps: I would think 6 months is not really a long time, he was only 4 months away from his wife when he met you, I would be thinking either I was the rebound girl or he might be hoping that he still has a chance of getting back with the ex and thats why he hasnt told her yet. If she thought he had moved on and is with someone else that might be it for the 2 of them, it might just be a trial separation and hes just keeping his options open ??? But then again he didnt have to tell you he hasnt told her about you.
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
Either way go with your gut it never lets you down and is there to protect you!!! Just protect yourself and your heart and maybe slow things down a bit. It would be interesting to find out the reasons for the split - I dont mean print them on here, but find out the reason they separated that might give you an insight into whats going on
i do actually know the reason for the splitup but i cant actually put it up here too much information and really wouldnt like it done on me but its nothing that would lead me to believe he would ever go back to her and if he did well theres not much i could really do!! but he had that chance b4 he met me so why would he wait till he was with someone and then go back wouldnt make any sense to me, the slowing down of things so many people have said that today but the reason i asked the question today is because things have progressed between us and i wanted to know if it was time for her to know about me cause i only told my ex yesterday about him!!
nvosiris: OMG.................. do you work for Roadstone
Don't print comments like that and then tell us you are mature.............
paphos: Don't print comments like that and then tell us you are mature.............
Haha... sorry that was for Rob! I know you never pretend to be a grown up Nvosiris, just like myself!!
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Why does she need to know if he is seeing someone or not? None of her business. They are not together anymore.
because she is sick he has alot of contact cause there are children involved and i understand that!!
i dont think it any of her business either in my opinion he can do what he likes and it shouldnt affect the parenting they do for the children but what if she stopped him seeing them or something like that???