What to say to telemarketers ( Archived) (8)

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to
marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

I am going to use this!

All good ones...
Heres another....
Ask them to hold on for a moment, set the phone down and walk away.
You can check back every five minutes or so to see if they are still holding...and if they are say you will be right with them.

all i do is tell them they have the wrong number and hang up on them.

Great responses .... but all assuming that they actually stop talking for a moment to let you reply in the first place.

The reason they obviously keep calling though is because it works .... so although I don't want to put people out of work ..... why don't people STOP talking to them period ..... and the companies will eventually get the message and discontinue conducting business in this fashion. We are our own worst enemies because we feed the marketing system that we complain about.

When they say who and what, I just hang up on them.

But then I haven't had a call from any telemarketers since I put my number on a list

Michael's replies are really good, And very well mannered and respectful.
Sends the message how he treats people with his comments and Langley girl also made a valid point, They are people on the other saide of the phone and as much as the calls can be irriratating at awkward times, manners is always better than rudeness.

A funny thing a person I once knew, Loved getting the calls and would keep them on the phone for up to an hour.
I remember asking Why ! and the reply was " I don't get to talk to many people and it can be lonely at times, so even though they are strangers that ring, it's a voice on the other end of a phone and it's human "

Well I could not say anything but smile.....................