KIDS/NO KIDS (127)
jaette: also most kids see their father very little during a week, be it by choice or circumstance, so in that case a new partner in mums life would spend more time with them kids than their father he would not be another dad but if say they were to move in together her kids would have to respect his athority
yup.. in my previous relationship, her son spent more time with me than with his dad. He knew i wasnt his father, but as a child, when he behaved badly, or needed praise for doing something good, i would do it. Not because i was being his 'daddy' but because i felt a responsibilty to the child to do those things by him. I couldnt just cover my ears and eyes and pretend he didnt exist because i was only dating his mammy.. not him
bubbles85: yeah it does
when u messaged me here..it was there
why message me
when u messaged me here..it was there
why message me
message you??? when did i message you about this subject... i'm just talking about how a guy with no kids getting involved with a single mum can be a daunting experience... and how its hard NOT to act like a 'dad' to the child.
the fact you want to date guy who have kids, is fine.
bubbles85: and going back to what i said earlier
like people that dont like dating single parents
id rather date single dads
they know what its like .......
like people that dont like dating single parents
id rather date single dads
they know what its like .......
im a single dad have my kids alot of the time, i know all about the time constraints and such, but i also know its impossible to seperate me from my kids it's a package, generally i would not go for women that don't have kids as it would be hard for them to understand the time constraints although i must also add ive dated women with kids and they haven't understood either
fitandfun79: message you??? when did i message you about this subject... i'm just talking about how a guy with no kids getting involved with a single mum can be a daunting experience... and how its hard NOT to act like a 'dad' to the child.
the fact you want to date guy who have kids, is fine.
the fact you want to date guy who have kids, is fine.
did i say this subject
when u first joined
im away to enjoy my day
rant over
fitandfun79: message you??? when did i message you about this subject... i'm just talking about how a guy with no kids getting involved with a single mum can be a daunting experience... and how its hard NOT to act like a 'dad' to the child.
the fact you want to date guy who have kids, is fine.
the fact you want to date guy who have kids, is fine.
sorry the fact u want to date guys, who don't mind dating sinlge mums.. read your post wrong there
jaette: im a single dad have my kids alot of the time, i know all about the time constraints and such, but i also know its impossible to seperate me from my kids it's a package, generally i would not go for women that don't have kids as it would be hard for them to understand the time constraints although i must also add ive dated women with kids and they haven't understood either
you just cant winenjoy your day
bubbles85: did i say this subject
when u first joined
im away to enjoy my day
rant over
when u first joined
im away to enjoy my day
rant over
i never said i wouldnt date a single mum..
fitandfun79: agree 100% i dated a woman with a little boy for a long time... like all single mothers say, she wasn't looking for a daddy for her son cause he had one already. But I still had to play a 'parental' role when all three of us were together. I wasn't his father, nor was i trying to be, but in the same breath i couldn't walk around pretending he wasn;t there when he misbehaved, or when he needed encouragment or praise.
Yes I was dating his mother and not the child, but she was a part of him and i accepted that, and i was part of their lives. I was not playing at being his dad because he would spend time with his dad as well, but when the three of us was together, i would have to have a certain 'parental' and 'friend' influence on him.
I get so angry when i see single mums say 'you are the woman not the child'. well the child is a part of your life and if i'm dating you, then you cannot seperate all three personalities. It's a complex situation and i sometimes think that single mums forget how daunting it can be for a man who has never had kids to be suddenly thrust into this new kind of life that the woman has been accustomed to for a few years already. ie. having a child in their lives
Yes I was dating his mother and not the child, but she was a part of him and i accepted that, and i was part of their lives. I was not playing at being his dad because he would spend time with his dad as well, but when the three of us was together, i would have to have a certain 'parental' and 'friend' influence on him.
I get so angry when i see single mums say 'you are the woman not the child'. well the child is a part of your life and if i'm dating you, then you cannot seperate all three personalities. It's a complex situation and i sometimes think that single mums forget how daunting it can be for a man who has never had kids to be suddenly thrust into this new kind of life that the woman has been accustomed to for a few years already. ie. having a child in their lives
You are right, and its not something to be entered into lightly. Some years ago I dated a guy who had children the same age as mine were then, 3 to 9. He had his children at the weekend, precious time for them which I totally understood, unfortunately when we did decide to introduce each other to the children his daughter, who was 6, didnt take to me or my children. I understood, we were invaders on her turf, she wasnt used to sharing her dad and didnt want to. Made the poor thing insecure as she knew her dad was spending time with my children when she wasnt around.
The relationship didnt last, for other reasons also, but this didnt help.
fitandfun79: yup.. in my previous relationship, her son spent more time with me than with his dad. He knew i wasnt his father, but as a child, when he behaved badly, or needed praise for doing something good, i would do it. Not because i was being his 'daddy' but because i felt a responsibilty to the child to do those things by him. I couldnt just cover my ears and eyes and pretend he didnt exist because i was only dating his mammy.. not him
exactly, in theory you are dating her but in practice it's alot different
I don't know why some blokes are afraid of dating a female with kids,i was dating a beautiful female from Dublin who was seperated with a brilliant 13 year old son who lives with her sister up north and i had no problem as she had told me from the start and i was fine with that,so i don't know why most males do have a problem with that?
jaette: exactly, in theory you are dating her but in practice it's alot different
exactly... so it's kind of annoying when women with kids say things like 'a guy must understand that me and my child come as a package'.. yet in the same breath, 'my child has a daddy and i'm not looking for another one for him/her'... surely they can see that them two statements are at complete loggerheads with each other.
fitandfun79: exactly... so it's kind of annoying when women with kids say things like 'a guy must understand that me and my child come as a package'.. yet in the same breath, 'my child has a daddy and i'm not looking for another one for him/her'... surely they can see that them two statements are at complete loggerheads with each other.
I think a woman is being up front when saying she has kids and they come as a package with her, for me that means my kids have to come first if the need arises.....Its only the truth when you are told my kids have a daddy even though my kids dad is dead, it certainly doesnt mean I am looking for a new daddy for them!!!!
I really do feel looking at most of the posts from the lads here on this thread, is 2 things, 1 that they are afraid of being put second to kids and 2 that they dont have the same concept as women where kids are concerned......and most of those lads are single without kids...
But in fairness there is lads here with kids doing the same as us women, in the context of looking after them, and whoever they meet have to take second place to his kids, also not looking for a new mammy for them either......
nuala: I think a woman is being up front when saying she has kids and they come as a package with her, for me that means my kids have to come first if the need arises.....Its only the truth when you are told my kids have a daddy even though my kids dad is dead, it certainly doesnt mean I am looking for a new daddy for them!!!!
I really do feel looking at most of the posts from the lads here on this thread, is 2 things, 1 that they are afraid of being put second to kids and 2 that they dont have the same concept as women where kids are concerned......and most of those lads are single without kids...
But in fairness there is lads here with kids doing the same as us women, in the context of looking after them, and whoever they meet have to take second place to his kids, also not looking for a new mammy for them either......
I really do feel looking at most of the posts from the lads here on this thread, is 2 things, 1 that they are afraid of being put second to kids and 2 that they dont have the same concept as women where kids are concerned......and most of those lads are single without kids...
But in fairness there is lads here with kids doing the same as us women, in the context of looking after them, and whoever they meet have to take second place to his kids, also not looking for a new mammy for them either......
well saidfitandfun79: exactly... so it's kind of annoying when women with kids say things like 'a guy must understand that me and my child come as a package'.. yet in the same breath, 'my child has a daddy and i'm not looking for another one for him/her'... surely they can see that them two statements are at complete loggerheads with each other.
in practice it doesn't work like that my last girl had a daughter and the truth is she saw me more than her own father, as you said earlier what was i to do ignore her as im just there to date her mother, im pretty sure i would have been dumped fairly quick if i did so. i would have read her bedtime stories and the usual stuff so people can call it what the want but in practice in a reltionship situation the boyfriend girlfriend has a parenting role also
nuala: I think a woman is being up front when saying she has kids and they come as a package with her, for me that means my kids have to come first if the need arises.....Its only the truth when you are told my kids have a daddy even though my kids dad is dead, it certainly doesnt mean I am looking for a new daddy for them!!!!
I really do feel looking at most of the posts from the lads here on this thread, is 2 things, 1 that they are afraid of being put second to kids and 2 that they dont have the same concept as women where kids are concerned......and most of those lads are single without kids...
But in fairness there is lads here with kids doing the same as us women, in the context of looking after them, and whoever they meet have to take second place to his kids, also not looking for a new mammy for them either......
I really do feel looking at most of the posts from the lads here on this thread, is 2 things, 1 that they are afraid of being put second to kids and 2 that they dont have the same concept as women where kids are concerned......and most of those lads are single without kids...
But in fairness there is lads here with kids doing the same as us women, in the context of looking after them, and whoever they meet have to take second place to his kids, also not looking for a new mammy for them either......
hi, can you give a few examples in the thread where it looks like the lads are afraid of been second, i can't see that myself maybe i missed something
Babikins: I could never go through pregnancy and child birth, it would never happen. I have my reasons and I know it sounds bizarre for a woman my age but alas, thats life. However I like the idea of dating men/women with children because I know I will never have any of my own. This doesn't mean I'm some psycho that is going to try and play second mummy! But I think the joy of having children in your life is something I don't want to miss out on. So no, dating men/women with kids has never been and will never be an issue, I think anyone who discounts, disgards and pushes aside the idea of dating someone with children is depriving themselves of something wonderful. Just my view...
Nothing bizarre about a woman not wanting to have kids or experience childbirth. My sister-in-law is 42, doesn't have kids and has never wanted kids.
I like women who have kids cos they r more matured than women who don't,
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
hiding suspiciously behind dark glasses
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
hiding suspiciously behind dark glassesI like women who have kids cos they r more matured than women who don't,
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
hiding suspiciously behind dark glasses
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
hiding suspiciously behind dark glassesI like women who have kids cos they r more matured than women who don't,
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
hiding suspiciously behind dark glasses
I prefer women with kids. If i find a woman my age without a kid then it tells me that there is something wrong or suspicious somewhere, not necessarily true though but that's my opinion.
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yeah it does
when u messaged me here..it was there
why message me