The statue.... (4)
hehe...very good... 
Three dogs in the vets waiting room, First dog looks at the other two and asks, "what you in for?", the second dog, replies "I soiled my owners carpet, there bedding and then chewed the arm of there new 1000 euro sofa, so there having me put down!",
"Ah, thats tough" said the first dog...He turns to the third dog and asks the same question, Dog 3 replies, "I bit the postman, opened the fridge door and ate all the food inside and chewed all the wiring for my owners home entertainment system, so there having me put down as well"...
First dog shakes his head and lets out a weary sigh...
The second dog asks the first "what are you in for?", the first replies, " when my owner comes downstairs from bed, I try to hump her leg, when she is on the sofa i jump up and try to hump her arm, and when she is naked i just cant control myself, i go humping crazy!"...
Hearing this, the the second and third dogs look at each other and and in unison say "being put down then!"....The first dog replies, "no, just here to get my nails clipped!"....
AB...
"Ah, thats tough" said the first dog...He turns to the third dog and asks the same question, Dog 3 replies, "I bit the postman, opened the fridge door and ate all the food inside and chewed all the wiring for my owners home entertainment system, so there having me put down as well"...
First dog shakes his head and lets out a weary sigh...
The second dog asks the first "what are you in for?", the first replies, " when my owner comes downstairs from bed, I try to hump her leg, when she is on the sofa i jump up and try to hump her arm, and when she is naked i just cant control myself, i go humping crazy!"...
Hearing this, the the second and third dogs look at each other and and in unison say "being put down then!"....The first dog replies, "no, just here to get my nails clipped!"....
AB...
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Created: Jun 2012
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‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’ She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder ’Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’
‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room.
‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied. ‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
‘Here,’ he said to the statue, ‘have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’