IgorFrankensteen: There are two basic areas of definition of "Gentleman."
One is the old-fashioned one, which is essentially the class-based concept. Being a gentleman in that sense, means a certain level pf education and social training, and the achievement (usually through birth) of a high level of social status. It actually has very little to do with character. This is the least common version in use today.
The second and more common version, is generally a "Discount Store" version of the same thing, but with less of a financial requirement, less if a social circle requirement, and more of a character requirement. It still gets a bit confused, owing to class-, gender- and political-warfare having brought resentments and accusations of nefarious intent into the mix, with the result that men who try to behave themselves in a "gentlemanly fashion" are often accused of
*being toady suck-ups to the Establishment;
*being misogynists, because they hold doors open for women (this is in decline thankfully);
*being weak and wimpy, because they remain calm rather than launching into acts of aggression or violence with little provocation;
The best version, are just men who are aware of, and sympathetic to other people's limitations, and who nevertheless respect and honor them appropriately. They have a sense of honor and honesty, which is NOT dependent upon possible personal advantage, or on how much they like the other people involved. You can rely on them to be consistent, fair, firm and self-knowledgeable, and unafraid to give way to others, because they know that they will not suffer because they do.
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One is the old-fashioned one, which is essentially the class-based concept. Being a gentleman in that sense, means a certain level pf education and social training, and the achievement (usually through birth) of a high level of social status. It actually has very little to do with character. This is the least common version in use today.
The second and more common version, is generally a "Discount Store" version of the same thing, but with less of a financial requirement, less if a social circle requirement, and more of a character requirement. It still gets a bit confused, owing to class-, gender- and political-warfare having brought resentments and accusations of nefarious intent into the mix, with the result that men who try to behave themselves in a "gentlemanly fashion" are often accused of
*being toady suck-ups to the Establishment;
*being misogynists, because they hold doors open for women (this is in decline thankfully);
*being weak and wimpy, because they remain calm rather than launching into acts of aggression or violence with little provocation;
The best version, are just men who are aware of, and sympathetic to other people's limitations, and who nevertheless respect and honor them appropriately. They have a sense of honor and honesty, which is NOT dependent upon possible personal advantage, or on how much they like the other people involved. You can rely on them to be consistent, fair, firm and self-knowledgeable, and unafraid to give way to others, because they know that they will not suffer because they do.