Do you go by first impressions, or are impressed as you go along? (6)

Ok MA, it's time to get the threads going here, lets make this site some fun.

Alright, now that you have my attention, please take a minute to answer my question...

When you go on a "first meeting", or "date" do you find yourself analyzing the other person, and deciding wether the person is worth a second chance? or do you see the inner person, their expressions, sincerity, friendliness?

Do you go by first impressions, or are you impressed as you go along?


PS: I am Angel, and have been on CS on and off for the last six months, mostly off the site, but still enjoying it...

It totally depends on the person.. If the person is trying to impress me, then I feel they're not being themselves and may look past the first impression thing, and give them a chance to relax and get to know the real them... However, here's a little story where first impression killed this guys chance of even a kiss.. This past Oct, I went to N.J. to see a guy I'd been talking to all summer.. He had broken up with his girlfriend in March April of the same year.. I figured he was ok with his situation.. My first nite in Jersey, we go to this little strip mall, on our way out, he sees his exes car parked right next to his.. And begins to get upset.. Me being the voice of reason, calmly says to him "It's obvious she's trying to push your button.. This big parking lot and she parks right next to you, let's show her she means nothing and just get in the van and go.. He refuses to get in the van.. I tried talking to him for almost 5mn.. Then she (ex) finally gets back.. I didn't realize her son was in the car, so when he sees his mother he jumps out and starts swearing at Jim (the guy I went to meet).. The mother yells and tells him to get back in the car.. Jim starts saying "Oh what did I do now.. And it went downhill from there.. She'd left him for someone else and they guy was with her.. She gets in her car cursing at Jim, he runs around her car to get the guy before he gets in the car, but the guy got in and locked the door.. I was already in the van at that point, and just didn't want to be there.. Well he'd done all this in front of his 7yr old daughter who was also in the van.. I was soooooo turned off by this guy.. And I explained it to him as soon as his daughter was gone.. He lacks self control, and he's not over her, or what she did to him... I told him he had a long way to go before he can think about getting into anything els... Hope I didn't talk your ear off... True story...

No you did not talk my ear off, I actually enjoy knowing that somebody is willing to open up and share experiences, thank you..

I can only say that it's a good thing that you found out about his behavior, on the first night in NJ.
He definitely had red flags that were not showing unless you met him in person.

You saved yourself a lot of trouble, and you were wise, at what you said to him.

I personally, find it a turn off for someone to try to impress me, since I make it very clear from the beginning that I am down to earth and try to remain simple, away from the artificialness of society.

So when I have met someone who tries to impress me, I will try to get to know them further and not make judgement based on the first meeting.
But I do inquire more about his thoughts on life and society, and what material things attract him...more than likely he will be a stuck up person, I would not end communication, just not be interested in dating the individual.

In order for me to be impressed, the guy has to do something original for me...red roses...are not original, lol

I met one of a kind guys, now I just need one that will capture not just my heart, but my mind also.

Thanks again for your imput it has been great chatting with you.


...........Angel....

They will show themselves in time... I try not to go with initial impressions for this reason.

However, if you are you right away, that tends to show quickly too... and Ill feel alot more at home for that.

Very true, they will show themselves with time...I agree.
I also think that this is the easiest way to be hurt, when you actually start seeing a person as a valuable, unique individual, and then they changed, but do it months after meeting you, sometimes the red flags are there, but some people can be very convincing.

True masters of their games.
It is truly a big dissapointment...

Thanks LV426 for your reply...Angel