It' Friday (12)

Lord
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman -- before marriage and after marriage.

While walking down O'Connell Street Father Delaney met Mrs O'Shaughnessy, He asked her, "How is himself and the wee ones?"
She replied, "My husband is as fit as a fiddle and as yet we have no wee ones, but we'll keep on trying".
He said, "I'm going to Rome to attend an ecclesiastical synod and I'll light a candle for you". Several years later Father Delaney meets Mrs O'Shaughnessy, he asked, "How is himself and the wee ones?
She retorted, "We have one set of triplets, two sets of twins, a boy and girl and my husband has gone to Rome to blow that candle out".

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator. (I've actually used this one)

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unferrtilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Curly, You made my day! That was hilarious!

My mind is a scary place........

it's the old saying...be careful what you wish for..you just might get it!!!!

Yup

See....we agree

Wow that took me awhile but I got it how are you hunnny