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* The mouse is referred to as a "critter."
* The keyboard is camouflaged.
* There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
* There is a gunrack mounted on the CPU.
* The password is "Bubba."
* The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
* NRA mousepad on desk, next to the Bible.
* Windows 95 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
* Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.
* The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
* The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
* The menus all have Rolling Rock, Black Label, Lone Star, and Old Milwaukee options.
* Jeff Foxworthy wav files.
* Seven blue tick hounds under the desk, next to the moonshine still.
* Deer jerky in the desk drawer, next to the mouth harp.
* The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with Dueling Banjos playing in the background.
* Wastebasket is a spittoon.
* John Deere pocket protectors.
* Autographed picture of the cast from the "Dukes of Hazzard" framed and sitting on the desk.
Sings That You Are Really Broke
* American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
* Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.
* You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
* You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe.
* Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.
* Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.
* You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
* You receive care packages from Europe.
* Your bologna has no first name.
* You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
* You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
* You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
* You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.
* McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
* Consumer Credit Counseling services said "No."
* The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets
Be A Kid Again
- Dot all your "i"s with smiley faces.
- Sing into your hairbrush.
- Grow a milk mustache.
- Read the funnies; throw the rest of the paper away.
- Dunk your cookies.
- Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
- Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
- Give someone a hug around the neck.
- Blow the wrapper off a straw.
- Refuse to eat crusts.
- Make a face the next time somebody tells you "No."
- Ask "Why?" a lot.
- Have someone read you a story.
- Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't match.
- Eat dessert first.
- Say "duh" when stuff is obvious.
- Put an orange slice in your mouth, peel side out, and smile at people.
- Innocently say your prayers.
- Ride a roller coaster two times in a row.
- Run through the sprinkler with all your clothes on.
- Lick all the cream out of an Oreo before you eat the cookie part.
- Eat just the chocolate stripe out of your Neapolitan ice cream.
- Start thinking now about what you want for your next birthday.
- Lie on your back in a field and look at pictures in the clouds.