They use the words "when he dies" As if its in the future. But in my mind I know. He is no longer here. The man who loved me like no other. He left..that day. Gone like the fire on a match in the wind. His body still lies next to mine, Sleeping through the grief and pain that We both feel..but the drugs only help HIM. Twice-a-day chances for escape from whats real.. I see it..I live it. Ive lived through Hell all of my life..I thought. But having comparisons, I now know a real Hell. Its having something wonderful..and having it ripped From you in a moment..a very long moment. Its looking in drugged influenced eyes and not being able To see myself in them anymore. Holding a hand that no longer holds mine..except out of reflex and fear. Hell is having to live once he dies, and not even knowing when that Will be. Hell is trying to make happy times out of a not-so-happy time Trying to get smiles from someone who has nothing to smile about. I know that soon, much sooner than I will be ready, His pain will be extinguished and his eyes will brighten His life on Earth will end. Sleep in Heavenly peace Sleep in Heavenly peace. SP November 8, 2004
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As if its in the future.
But in my mind I know.
He is no longer here.
The man who loved me like no other.
He left..that day.
Gone like the fire on a match in the wind.
His body still lies next to mine,
Sleeping through the grief and pain that
We both feel..but the drugs only help HIM.
Twice-a-day chances for escape from whats real..
I see it..I live it.
Ive lived through Hell all of my life..I thought.
But having comparisons,
I now know a real Hell.
Its having something wonderful..and having it ripped
From you in a moment..a very long moment.
Its looking in drugged influenced eyes and not being able
To see myself in them anymore.
Holding a hand that no longer holds mine..except out of reflex
and fear.
Hell is having to live once he dies, and not even knowing when that
Will be.
Hell is trying to make happy times out of a not-so-happy time
Trying to get smiles from someone who has nothing to smile about.
I know that soon, much sooner than I will be ready,
His pain will be extinguished and his eyes will brighten
His life on Earth will end.
Sleep in Heavenly peace
Sleep in Heavenly peace.
SP
November 8, 2004