Good Bye Phil- (username - Detente) ( Archived) (431)

We can make time for them. Spend time with them. Tell them occasionally how important they are to us and be glad of the things they do. My cuz was always there to help me and other people but we didn't appreciate him while we had him. I hate myself when I think about this.

Yes we can

I'm sorry Mastic.
I hope she isn't in any more pain.

R.I.P. Donna

But if they are acting like Donna, looking always happy, we can't intefere too much can we? It all depends on the level of intimicy, what the person is willing to give you as fair play

Hi

From my experiences with the disease I dont think your cuz would like you to hate yourself in any way. We are all at fault, when looking back thru our life, of not spending more time with someone whether they be family or friend.
Fortunately not all of us have to carry your perceived guilt.
Your cuz sounds like he was a hell of a guy. He like everybody else is responsible for him and him alone.

IMO he would not want you rememnering him in this way as it would cause him more pain, if he knew.

Celebrate his life, learn from it but please, please never blame yourself. Guilt can be such a wasted emotion IMO.

IMO he would want you to learn from it so you could help someone else.

I mourn your loss.

Vinny

Your right Cris IMO.

Some people who suffer have an inablility to ask for help. In fact they will do anything to stop the symptoms showing. A lot of people use alcohol as a crutch so people will see them in a different light. Pride is such a terrible thing, in some ways, as people don't want others to know they suffer with ''mental illness''
Even in these enlightened times there is still a stigma to it, from my experience.

IMO

Why do you think there is that fear? It's not much of pride maybe but fear of being rejected...

Again we are all individual Cris, but we are talking about our deepest insecurities here. Some people are better at sharing and opening up to people than others.

Sometimes people just shy away from other people for the fear of letting them down. This can apply to friendships as well as relationships. People may not want to commit for fear of dissapointing their partner.

Some people just dont like themselves very much. This can be for a variety of reasons and is a lot more common than we might think. Take a young girl who maybe carries a few extra pounds. Society is palcing undue pressure on her to be and look the size 8 model that appears in fashion mags and tv.

Some people listen to the wrong advice.

I've heard people say to someone suffering with depression to ''Get on with it''........= Not helpful

I've also heard some people being told Ah sure you dont need those tablets.
Would anyone ever say that to someone with liver disease or diabeties ? Dont think so.

But because people's brains don't produce enough seritonen they are branded with ''mental illness''

Again it's the stigma thats attached to it........

Vinny