can anyone relate with me one this one ( Archived) (27)

DoznEggs: Dragon, I'm not in a situation such as yours, but the way I see it..... You would not be lying to your Mom. YOU ARE SUPPORTING your children. Maybe say that you and your ex agreed to split all costs 50/50 because that works best for both of you. Or, perhaps when she asks how much child support you are paying you might try a different approach, say something like...... the support changes depending on what the kids needs are. Like I said, I'm not in your situation, but I think it might satisfy her curiosity.

My Dad is all I have left, and he's not doing all that great at the moment. He usually, no not usually, always asks me, "what'd you pay for that"? everytime he sees I have something new. I just pick a figure that I think he thinks will be reasonable and he's happy and I'm happy. Sometimes a little white lie keeps the peace and it doesn't hurt anybody. Sometimes I just want to say, "what does it matter?", but he's my Dad and I respect him and love him very much. Like you said earlier; their actions and words come from their age. They came from a different era. In their minds, they still think of us as their little girls or boys, their children, even though we now have the role of their "parent" so to speak. One of the aids that's caring for my father in the hospital at the moment said something to me the other day that really made me think. "In life, you're an adult once and a baby twice".

I just had a thought, imagine that! Maybe the reason for her asking is because she is concerned that you're paying too much????

Hang in there! You're being the best son and father you can be. Which isn't always an easy job.

You and your Mom

stoneman9210: first of all its none of your moms business, If your ex is satisfied on what you do thats all that matters, if thats the agreement you and your ex agreed upon tell your mom the same. i basicly do the same, when my ex needs some money or if there is a reciept of somrthing for the kids i will give her half and or sometimes i give her the whole amount paid. just make sure your children are happy thats the most important thing

nurcnurc: If a priest or other religious authority figure can't make you feel guilty then Moms can. (I say that because I'm a Mom).

Your Mom is likely wanting to make sure her grandchildren are being cared for properly and that the son she raised is doing the right thing, in her mind. The advice above is all good. Just tell her all is well without giving details. You also don't have to say MYOB in such a way that would cause her hurt. But it does cause you hurt as you are torn in knowing you are doing the right thing and not wanting to hurt your Mom. So be gentle and kind and just leave it simple. "Mom, they are being well cared for. So tell me how Aunt Louise is doing", (or someone else in the family) in order to change the subject.

Indyfella: Maybe tell mom to go play bingo more often.