ONE FOR THE LADIES (8)

The Perfect Husband?

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began
to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure...go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006
models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house I wanted last year is back on the market, they're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand, After all it really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too!"

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
....
He smiles and asks:
"Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

The masked fancy dress Halloween Ball promised to be great fun and Paddy and Mary were looking forward to it. On the night though, Mary had a very bad migraine and, taking to the bed, persuaded Paddy to go on his own. However she woke after an hour or so with the pain cleared and decided to follow on after Paddy. As she had organised the costumes, he wouldn't recognise her - so she decided to have a bit of fun.

Once there, she quickly located Paddy dancing with every girl he could find and having a great time. She moved in on him and they danced and drank and flirted the night away. Finally, she whispered a little proposition in his ear and they found an empty bedroom.............

Just before the unmasking at Midnight, she slipped away and was at home in bed reading when Paddy finally arrived back. And she enquired what kind of a night he'd had.

"Sure, you know I never have a good time when you're not there", he replied

So she said "Did you dance much?"
And Paddy said "I'll tell you, I never even danced once. When I got there, I met a few other lads who were on their own so we went into a spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really stupid wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with deep sarcasm.

"Nah", said Paddy, "Someone spilled a drink over Mick so I gave him my outfit. Apparently he had a hell of a night!"

> > On his first day on the job, the trainee dialled the kitchen and
shouted
> > into the phone: "Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!"
> >
> > The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialled
the
> > wrong
> > extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
> >
> > "No," replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the
company,
> > idiot!"
> >
> > The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are F***ING
talking
> > to,
> > you F***ING idiot?" "No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly
> >
> > "Thank F**K for that!" replied the trainee and slammed down the
phone

very funny

very very good,

soz,i was bored! lol

excellent lol !