Prostate Cancer..... ( Archived) (5)

Ok all my grandfather is 90.. and I am uspet today for a few reasons... the biggest is that grandma told me he has been told this and he is crying and not leaving his room.

I feel sick.. I burried my father to cancer, and I can not take seeing another family member die like that and deal with it on my own again... I just have no strength left in my body or my heart to deal with it the way I did with dad alone.

I am weeping I do not know how to tell my son, I do not know how to go through this again with everything else...

I think I am goign to say yes to a long term narriage offer by one of a few friends I just can not take this by myself.

Tell me how to feel strong again.

Sweetheart he's 90 at that age the disease progresses very slowly....


he was gonna go within the next ten years or so anyway wasn't he? or did you think he would out live you?...calm down. death is a part of life!
enjoy and give dignity and grace to the time he has with you

i hope this doesn't sound rough i don't mean it to. i deal with life and death daily so maybe i am not so emotional anymore, i tended both my parents in their dying process when i was 19 with my dad/25 with my
mom

i understand what you went through, my dad died of prostate cancer but he was 82!!! had a full rich life and saw my daughter his first grandchild.... it's not easy but it's your choice how to make it beautiful and memorable and with dignity that he deserves...



hope this helps a little...



i am not the most graceful at this but i'm here if ya need me



alex

Hello Shallyjean,
Hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. I understand how it is when there is a lot of stuff going on in your life...one more thing just seems to be too much. But try to put things into perspective...as Alex said, your grandfather has had a long life and although it's tough losing a loved one, at that age you have to be thinking about it. It sounds like what you are dealing with is feelings of loss from past experiences. This one doesn't have to be like that. You can celebrate the time your grandfather has left with you and your son.
And as for marrying someone so as not to be alone...don't do it. If this person is a friend, you don't need to be married to have support through this. It's not fair to the other person.
You feel like you can't get through this now but you will. I don't want to go on and on with advice but I have been there and I know what helps me. One thing I do when I get overwhelmed is to make a list of everything that is bothering me and prioritize the issues on a 1 to 10 level. Then I actually schedule time to try to resolve each thing. This way I feel as if I'm in control and can deal better. All the best. Jude

Yes I have to priorize things now for sure, and I am going to do this right away.