This is one of the subjects I am planning to blog about soon. I have seen very few parents discuss how they will raise their children, prior to actually having the children. In many cases, as kids grow up, we see one of the parents drive in one direction while the other drive in another. This could be in general, or in particular situations. Discussing how you two will raise the kids involves many aspects, including the financial one and influence of other members of the family. Take care and good luck.
@Jana28 What I was trying to say is that women and men are not equal and the question about their equality is not logical. The fact that they are not equal does not mean either of them is superior to the other. They should be treated fairly (Lana) and be evaluated the same way. I gave an example of apples and oranges. If somebody says that Oranges and apples are equal (both are fruits and provide vitamins) then I would reject this comparison.
I can say about two apples that they are equal after I examine them according to my knowledge/definition of apples. by equals, I would mean that they have the same taste, they are the same size, they are both equally ripe, and so their price (value) in the market should be the same. I would not expect the price of ten oranges be equal to the price of ten apples.
Furthermore, as a matter of fact, women (generally speaking) should, in my opinion, be paid higher than men, if this differentiation should ever be considered. A woman bears a vital responsibility when she carries a baby in her body. She is (taking the responsibility of) providing humanity a new life, or at least she has the potential to do that. Bearing a baby for nine months is a task well beyond any technical task any engineer may ever perform. Even in cases where she has to make a decision whether to keep the baby or not, this is not comparable to any major decision of any business manager in any deal whatsoever. It's about a human life. Therefore, claiming equality for women to men is actually reducing their human value and human rights. The bottom line: Let's evaluate people according to what they offer to humanity and not whether they were males or females.
Thank you, Lana, for this nice blog. This is called gallantry, and well raised up gentlemen learn it from their parents and other examples in their family. In a rather simplified language I would say to everyone who has a partner: If your partner has qualities, and you enjoy these qualities, you should appreciate them and show your appreciation. If you think your partner has no qualities, why are you together at all? Your appreciation to your partner's qualities encourage them to keep them and even enhance them. I have been very generous with my ex, and all I had is her taking advantage of it and demanding more and more. She never had enough, and even if I have given her hundreds of gifts and for several years, the moment she wanted something new, all the past is forgotten and I am too stingy if I did not provide her that. I asked her once: "Has it ever occurred to you to ask yourself what have you done to deserve what you are constantly asking me to give?" Her answer was: "Why should I have to do something to deserve? I deserve by default. I am your wife." This arrogance and selfishness led us to separation. I did not care about the money or material. I just felt that in her eyes I was not a human with feelings and emotions, but just obligation to make her happy, and yet she was never happy. I wasn't either. I absolutely agree with you, Lana. It is all about true values and care. That's what love is all about.
I guess you mean we should evaluate people the same way, or based on the same measures. People's values are not the same, in my opinion, they are relative. Relative to persons they are connected to, and relative to their achievements in the society.
For example, Lana's father (God bless his soul) has a great value to her. His value to me isn't the same, although after reading her blog about her late father, I felt a great respect to him too. I could say something similar about my father's value for me.
Thomas Edison has a value due to his invention, the electric lamp, which has been of great help and usefulness to the entire human society. I do not have the same value as he has.
So, the bottom line is: it is not whether we are women or men that sets our values, and we are not of equal values either. But the evaluation should be fair (as Lana stated).
@maryrachelle Not quite true. Switzerland is divided in 26 Cantons and such practices are locally decided, and until very recently, some cantons (Appenzel, for instance, if my memory helps) still did not allow women to vote. Even if we talk about 1971. For a country like Switzerland in the middle of Europe, it's really a shame, I think.
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RE: To have kids or not...
This is one of the subjects I am planning to blog about soon.I have seen very few parents discuss how they will raise their children, prior to actually having the children.
In many cases, as kids grow up, we see one of the parents drive in one direction while the other drive in another.
This could be in general, or in particular situations.
Discussing how you two will raise the kids involves many aspects, including the financial one and influence of other members of the family.
Take care and good luck.