I would take it very slow. Usually guys who are that enthusiastic want one thing...sorry guys...you know most of you do.....
Unless, you Need a dinner then I would take a few times on the phone lets say 3 times to get a better idea of who the dude is. If he loses interest or starts to get pushy...bail, bail, bail.
Any man who is truly interested or at least a nice man will be nice too. End of story.
Plus the advantage for you of talking several times on the phone is that you will start to pick up if you are digging him and if you are not be good to yourself and him tell him you are sorry but are not feeling it.
It is very hard to meet someone online but I guess it can happen.
Regarding who pays? It seems that everyone is for paying your own way.
My view is that both parties should plan on paying their own way. Sometimes the guy offers to pay for the lunch then the girl should step up and offer to pay for coffee or the movie. It shows that the girl is a thinking and caring person.
If I am not sure about a guy but he offers to pay for coffee or whatever he immediately earns a couple of points. Not so much because he paid but because he shows his generosity of spirit.
Guess what? that could tip the scales if I want to continue talking and seeing this person.
If it is a first date and he asked you he should be ready to pay for the entire date. As I said before the girl should help too if she can.
If you are going to date then you need to have some disposable income or don't date. It costs some money to go out.
Dating is all about getting to know the person not worrying about money. Plan economical dates if money is an issue.
Let me start by saying I am so very sorry. I can't put myself in your position but I will try.
I guess Most of the people on here are looking for love and connection. I have a conditon too but so far not in the danger zone. Still, it is an issue. I guess Everybody needs love and we are still alive so no you don't need to say anything about your ordeal unless you absolutely know it is terminal. On the other hand, once you date someone more than once it is probably a good idea to let him know about your situation. It is only fair.
So sorry, but I too have had no luck on these darn online free sites. I don't think the paid ones are much better.
I have been addicted to them. I think I am on my way back to my old life. Sad sometimes but not upset.
Okay, this is what my suggestion is. I would say you need to focus on things for yourself. Funny how in order to find someone you have to find yourself.
Join groups, such as volunteer groups, hill country group, meetups, or perhaps try Yoga at ruta maya international coffee house.
If you can stay on these sites and not get upset or too addicted...who knows their are some success stories out there...I just don't know if it for me.
I even had to tell myself I am destined to be an Old Maid...only to get my mind in a different direction! lol Well, I hope not, that would be too sad. I am 44.
Also, pray if you believe in God..that is all I hear is to pray and not look....I just have a hard time believing but the alternative has not worked yet.
to celtic lady. You put down all the stuff I have also had to endure, pressure from society and then it pressure me into thinking something must be wrong with me.
I wonder if misery loves company. Who knows married people might be envious of our single life just can bare to be alone. Of late, I am finding out that my own company is not too bad and until I can find My Soulmate I need to remain calm and then maybe he will come along. We will see how long this lasts.
They say it is all for a reason but when a woman sees herself getting older and looks around and sees no prospects..it can be depressing. Got to resist and focuse on something else...like yoga, self improvement, books....etc.
Thanks for your reply: I guess it is not easy. It is kinda like looking for the fountain of youth. I wish when we were born we already had our partner picked out for us....but then it wouldn't be life I guess....darn it!
What is your definition of a soulmate? and could it be possible we cannot find him or her because we have not done the work on ourselves. For example: finding our true calling or purpose first.
Could it be we are what is standing in our own way?
keep showing up once in a while. Maybe over time she will get use to you and maybe talk to you more. Ask her when she takes her break and if you could join her.
(plan b)Then if she doesn't offer you her number then tell her you would like to talk to her some more when she is not working. Then smile and give her a small card or cute card with your number and good times to call....
Then back off a little and see what happens.
If nothing comes of this don't worry you tried.
Remember at this age she may not be able to date or who knows...
Re: what is this site about? online hoping to date??? Well, for one thing, at least for me, not much going on. I got some views from people in another town or state? what's up with that?
The forums have gotten started up and those seem to be moving along ok.
Good luck and watch out for fakers or those who take up all your time and never meet you. Watch out for scam letters. Never send money, never give out personal information that can be used to steal your identity.
I am still trying to meet folks online but it is really hard to find ones that meet criteria even minimal.
There are a few people who are seriously looking and there are some success stories but no guaranteeds.
Just my perspective thus far. If you are looking for your soulmate you have to go through a lot of duds to get there it seems.
I totally understand...we are in a pickle....lol or no pickle...just being cornball...oops...
Love yourself though is the main thing!
What does that mean? It means we will try real hard not todo anything or continue anything that is not in our best interests....of course after giving it a try...
Observation and time always tells the truth in a situation.
What the heck....men need us really...but for some reason we think we need them.
Some good advice already posted about waiting for him to find you!!! or like they tell me pray about it.
Still, not that I am doing it but find out what you want, what you like todo. Go ck out the local bookstore, volunteer, have game night with girlfriends, pamper yourself, exercise.
then we you do meet someone you will have so much to talk about...instead oh all I do is sit in front of the tv...couch potatoe.
Most important try to find inner peace. If you can find that most of your loneliness will be easier to deal with.
Hope this helps.
I too am waiting for my prince to save me...but starting to realize I have to start saving myself too!!
I am in my 40's so I can only give you what I would be looking for. For whatever reasons I have yet to find the one.
When I find him I hope him to be able to make me laugh, have depth, character, lots of love to give, and cherish me.
I guess it is never to late to start and it seems you are on the right track. Find the girl who wants to talk and wants to know you. It will be difficult in you age group so just for now meet girls and then you will be able to tell the difference when the right one comes and then you will be able to pick out the best one for you!
Don't be too needy, as that for some reason turns people off.
Tip: girls want to get out, so scan the events in your town, movies etc.
You seem like pretty romantic person. I think when you realize that you have to love yourself first and foremost. Then you can truely love someone else.
I am in my 40's and I think I have only just begun to realize that I really need someone more than just to have someone. I need someone to share my life with...life is short.
I believe you are 29? You still have time. Find what you want. Date so you can find out what you don't want. Find someone kind, supportive, similar outlook, and someone who can't wait to see and be with you for all the right reason....
Yes I totally understand. I feel like I am dying too. Then I realize that it is All preparation for the Crazy Love.
The longer you go without the more Joy there will be when you find it. Imagine that...boo hoo....
Glad some guys feel the same way. Too bad you are not in my age range.
BTW, Not that I have even been remotely close at all. I imagine that you have to try and of course if it worked out with everybody then we would all be with everybody...right. Keep looking! or Pray as they tell me todo. I have not been praying enough or it is just not my time.
These are the things I have noticed on this site. I am not complaining just things I have noticed. Maybe someone can address this or gain insight of some sort.
Many out of state, out of the country and in other towns. This to me makes it difficult to meet someone casually (after we talk on e-mails) for coffee etc.
Many members with no pic or who have not checked their mail. Of course, if they are not checking their mail they will not see this.
To me a pic does not necessarily need to reflect how handsome or not they are. To me it reflects if they look like they could be my father or grandfather. I am a somewhat young looking 44 year old. Or if they just look well worn out and are only 40. No offense.
I am not looking for a younger man just one who is young at heart and wants todo many more things he has not already been there done that.
How does this site get advertised? Need more locals.
While I also do not write full sentences and spelling is not always right, I have had seen e-mails and profiles with very little attention to grammar and thought process.
Been doing this for about 3 months, here and elsewhere. No luck yet. Glad to hear it is possible though.
I would be very very sad if I thought I would not find the love of my life somewhere. It would be a big waste! Lots of love all bottled up for way too long!!!
Of course, we have our up days and our down days...tis life.
Wish Everybody who sincerely wants to find there partner much luck and love.
so sorry for you and Missy. We will not know the reasons these terrible things happen. One day we will. Find strength in each other and in the good memories.
I can relate to this too. I have been told I am attractive and easy on the eyes, but about 30 lbs overweight. It is evenly distributed and mostly it is a belly.
I too cannot find the love of my life yet. Also, you are right I see women who are not at all great looking and they have a man. I think it is all a conspiracy to make us single women, CRAZY!
Just a thought, I take terrible pictures-but hope you are not offended but if you put on a scoop neck top, not too low though and maybe flipped the ends of your hair up put on a little light lipstick and smile....you may just get some guys interested. They are visual it seems but love a pretty smile!
I just started this site and it seems like it is slim pickings! I noticed you live in California and that state seems to be filled with beautiful people and being tanned and slim is a requirement, still your guy is out there, but like mine he is lost or we are not ready for each yet....
Stay positive. I know it is hard very hard especially since I am 44 and not yet dating anyone. I have a prospect...not crazy about his looks but who knows he could be charming and I could make a friend...and then maybe...who knows...
I am can relate to your question. What is a dealbreaker?
For me if the person does not believe in a higher being then that would be a concern for me. This is because I believe my soul is connected to God. It should be a union of three, me, him and God to bless the relationship.
If you don't mind your whole house and clothes smelling like cigarette or worse getting second hand smoke then it is your choice. The odds are low that they can quit.
Different political views can work as long as each party respects each other.
Intelligence should be close 10 points lower or 10 points higher I read somewhere. Someone who is in the range so you don't wake up one day and say I married an idiot...yikes!
Last but not least, you have to decide what you can live with or cannot. They say the heart decides but don't settle.
TheBest2isYet Forum Posts (21)
RE: For the truly single, unattached people....
I would take it very slow. Usually guys who are that enthusiastic want one thing...sorry guys...you know most of you do.....Unless, you Need a dinner then I would take a few times on the phone lets say 3 times to get a better idea of who the dude is. If he loses interest or starts to get pushy...bail, bail, bail.
Any man who is truly interested or at least a nice man will be nice too. End of story.
Plus the advantage for you of talking several times on the phone is that you will start to pick up if you are digging him and if you are not be good to yourself and him tell him you are sorry but are not feeling it.
It is very hard to meet someone online but I guess it can happen.
good luck,