St Peter's Quiz A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die in a plane crash and go up to Heaven's gates together. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who says: "Sorry, it's crowded up here, you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replies, "the Titanic." So St. Peter lets her into Heaven. Next he turns to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asks. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and I think it was 1,500." St. Peter steps away and the thief walks into Heaven. Finally, St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says: "Name them."
A Belfast man was ashamed of his accent, and decided to go to elocution lessons in London. Three years later he was speaking perfect BBC English, and he decided to return home and celebrate with a drink. He caught the Shuttle to Belfast, got a taxi into the city and walked into the first establishment he came to. 'I say, old chap,' he said to the proprietor, 'perhaps you could furnish me with a large gin and tonic and one of your finest Havana cigars.' 'You're from around these parts, aren't you?' said the proprietor. 'Good grief,' said the stunned Belfast man. 'How did you know that?' 'Well, you see,' said the proprietor, 'this is a butcher's.'
Digging a hole. IRISH
Not sure about that but we wont tell.