Ok.. I know a bit about this topic and I will try to make it brief as possible. Met the man of my dreams. He lived in another city...not far but still 1 1/2 hours drive. Dated two years and he wanted to get married. Since I was previously married, I wanted to wait until the kids were older, but he said he wanted more. I agreed and we married. He said he would move to my city since he could do that with his work. We were married 6 months and he never moved in. Finally, he did move in but rarely came home at night and if he did it was very late. This went on for 2 years. We separated for a year.. I fell apart but finally was getting my life back together and he shows up a year later.
I melted because I still desperately loved him and we agreed to try again. He stayed living in his city and myself in mine. There was always the promise that when things were "worked out" we would live together again. This time I said I would move there. I guess in his eyes things were never "worked out". Things were never quite the way he wanted them I guess and we lived like that for 6 more years. I saw him most weekends but we were still married and this time I wanted more. I finally recognized the fact that it was never going to happen. He wanted his own life and wanted me when I fit in to his schedule.
This past May I terminated the relationship for good and am finally able to step back at take a look at what it really was.
My advice to you, my friend is to make sure a relationship (one with you) is what he really wants. Look for signs like the one you mentioned, such as not being able to see you for a month and if there are functions that he seems to prefer attending without you. Look for the "signs" and don't necessarily "fall" for the words. Don't let the years go by like I did (9 to be exact) and trust your instincts.
Maybe he is "the one" and long distance is the way it will be for a while.. in my opinion this is fine.. but make sure to love yourself to see that your own needs are also being met.
In my efforts of trying to help, this is my advice to you. I hope it works out for you.
I have been quietly observing some of these forums from the sidelines...this one in particular...I just can not believe that someone could be that ignorant (Cranbrook2) and then not having the nerve to resurface again with something he started in the first place!
In my opinion his post was put on here for nothing more than to be hurtful and unkind. Unfortunately, some persons appear to get their kicks that way, but I think it is just that they a very have a low self esteem. In some strange way, it makes them feel better to bring others down.
I was particularly impressed with the above post and would like to commend Northern for his comments.
Hey! In case anyone else out there has this trouble... my keyboard was set on French-Canadian... My son noticed and corrected it in a flash... hahaha...
Excuse me... but my keyboard does this EXACT same thing! Can anyone help ME É.
(That is my question mark by the way.) I have no idea and it has been like this for a while. ÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ (Yes... those are ALL question marks. If I try to use ÈQuotationsÈ they are there... If I try to use an apostrophe, it is still there but small letter. Donèt know what is going on. Hahahaha
ÇÇÇ That is my right bracket key ... This is my left.. ^^^^^ I could go on and on. I talk like a robot on here I have to be careful of what I type. I thought maybe it had something to do with using a Mac computer.
Leiti Forum Posts (5)
RE: Long Distance
Ok.. I know a bit about this topic and I will try to make it brief as possible. Met the man of my dreams. He lived in another city...not far but still 1 1/2 hours drive. Dated two years and he wanted to get married. Since I was previously married, I wanted to wait until the kids were older, but he said he wanted more. I agreed and we married. He said he would move to my city since he could do that with his work. We were married 6 months and he never moved in. Finally, he did move in but rarely came home at night and if he did it was very late. This went on for 2 years. We separated for a year.. I fell apart but finally was getting my life back together and he shows up a year later.I melted because I still desperately loved him and we agreed to try again. He stayed living in his city and myself in mine. There was always the promise that when things were "worked out" we would live together again. This time I said I would move there. I guess in his eyes things were never "worked out". Things were never quite the way he wanted them I guess and we lived like that for 6 more years. I saw him most weekends but we were still married and this time I wanted more. I finally recognized the fact that it was never going to happen. He wanted his own life and wanted me when I fit in to his schedule.
This past May I terminated the relationship for good and am finally able to step back at take a look at what it really was.
My advice to you, my friend is to make sure a relationship (one with you) is what he really wants. Look for signs like the one you mentioned, such as not being able to see you for a month and if there are functions that he seems to prefer attending without you. Look for the "signs" and don't necessarily "fall" for the words. Don't let the years go by like I did (9 to be exact) and trust your instincts.
Maybe he is "the one" and long distance is the way it will be for a while.. in my opinion this is fine.. but make sure to love yourself to see that your own needs are also being met.
In my efforts of trying to help, this is my advice to you. I hope it works out for you.