steelfog405 Forum Posts (1)

RE: Shacking up-----vs marriage

I do believe in marriage, if the relationship has matured to that level. But I think it's unfair to call someone selfish if they wish not to get married, without looking into that persons history. Divorces are never pretty, no matter how "amicable" some people claim them to be. The more resentment that has built up over time, the uglier the proceedings will be. Accusations (both valid and fabricated) are thrown, legal loopholes are exploited, friends are forced to choose sides in some cases, and if children are involved, it's even worse. The only real winners in a divorce are the lawyers. Statistically, men are the majority losers in divorces, even if the wife was 100% wrong. Some people have deep emotional scars after a divorce. It's almost paramount to being a victim of crime; you are forever wary of the possible circumtances that might lead to a repeat assault. The media doesn't help either. They constantly barrage us with explicit details of divorce cases of the rich and foolish and how much one side is losing to the other. For some men, this is enough for them to treat marriage like a phobia.
I don't think people should "play house". Either get married, keep dating that person from your own perspective locations, or find someone else. Too many times, couples decide to "play house", then one decides either to return to an "I'm still single" frame of mind or wants more control of the relationship. I think its hilarious on some of these TV reality court shows when two people who ended thier "house" agreement want the same protection under the law that is ajorned to married people. Yet, when the judge asks them the usual question, both partys either remain silent or give a juvenile generic answer.
Anyway, that's my opinion.