How would you rewrite my profile to make it better

thornz2000 Profile Review

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thornz2000
lynnwood, Washington, USA

How would you rewrite my profile to make it better?

I think its ok, but I would like some 'Fresh Input' (most friends will not tell you the truth or sugar coat an answer.)

thx for your time..

Feb 22, 2012 11:55 PM CST

niah9
Auckland, New Zealand
449 comments

Truthfully....what you said is good, but the way you ramble...can be rather....uninteresting...not attention grabbing.
Edit is my thought....pick out the main factors, place them in order as a guide....then rewrite.
I thought this when reaching the section on pets....ending with the 7 month old puppy....just my opinion....
Might be wise to change the photos too....happy smiling photos.....draw people to your profile....
Niah

Feb 23, 2012 1:43 PM CST

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by thornz2000

Created: Feb 2012

Last Viewed: Apr 20

Last Commented: Feb 2012

thornz2000 Profile Review

How would you rewrite my profile to make it better?

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