I think everyone who relates in society , or internet ( as in dating ) has experienced the feeling of creating some sort of expectation on someone as I did over 3 years and then get frustrated when it appears that the person does not match to what is expected of her . As many deny that and say they want to live without creating expectations on others , I think this is something very hard to do because when someone catches your esteem or admiration is natural that you expect something from her , so much so that when someone does this something outside of what we are used to seeing just were disappointed and upset because we have a tendency to want others to be always the same way , it is a matter of custom .
In human relationships create expectations is as common as the frustrations , not to frustrate just do not expect much from others, but this is easy to do ? Who can live today without worrying about anyone ? Although what we think is not what governs our lives , yet we care about the opinion of others , so much that the excuses are always used when we make mistakes with someone like that , if not we were concerned with our image to others or did not care if we truly never would ask excuses , the excuse is therefore the recognition of failure caused to others .
Another thing I notice is that we are even different for different people , we can be more formal , affectionate , playful to the extent that others are like us , the way you interact with others will reflect in the way you behave towards him by what we are boring for some and for other legal , because we are never ever the same , we have a core personality as well but with different behaviors depending on the person and the situation.
Analyzing all these situations , I have sought to better balance my emotions about my relationship with people , I trying to exercise the art of not caring about little things that do not know for what reason annoy me so much , it has been difficult to swallow all this dry , but I realized that if I let myself be influenced by these things , I will shake me easily and hence is coming suffering and discontent that triggers frustration .
There comes a time in life that we must learn the hard way to accept when we are not welcome , accepted or estimated by some that we like . You have to understand that everyone in possession of his free will can choose to have close to you heart 's chosen , in this case , little or nothing we can do to conquer this space, is a door that should open another for you and it is not for you force or insist join. Not always give us permission to enter .
Today I 've been thinking about something that disappointed me a lot ...
Always expect the " fantastic " place to justify any emotional manifestation of: joy, affection, friendship, respect ...
The trouble comes when this fantastic not appear then you think it is not worth wasting any sentimento.Das two one , or " great " does not exist and we are grandiose claims and other deceptive or it must have appeared and we had a look more careful to see if was worth it or not .
Sometimes my exaggerated expectations about what life gives us can derail the experience of experiences easier, but fun .
The trend of " oversize " things at least in my case , wanting simple things are more intense or grandiose has led me to a state of constant dissatisfaction , inconformação , inadequacy and incompatibility with the life I have , or that people who I think the same .
Seeing as even unintentionally am taken to always expect the "more" , the " fantastic " , I decided not to wait any longer. This is because my criteria for assessing what is or is not fantastic has been weak and insufficient , because life has surprised me a lot. The simplest things and people have priority proved fantastic for me after awhile . Not always the first impression is the lasting impression.
Have allowed me to go beyond the first impression , without pretense of finding the " fantastic " , but in order to assess whether it is worth investing some feeling or simply forget. it also has led me to remove the pictures from my profile. I'm also trying to be more receptive to new ideas , more tolerant , more flexible , more patient with almost everything and almost everyone. Always thinking that it is time to break my paradigms since the risk really compensate !
confusion
Trying to write again after a long time ...
Although some areas of my life are - shall we say - resolved or at least addressed, one in particular insists is not solved.
The area refers to the heart, or which is controlled by it, insists on decisions precipitated, and sometimes incorrect.
I can not escape the blame, because despite the decisions I make in this field are influenced by events around me, yet my decisions are, therefore, mea culpa.
The problem is that I end up getting into situations that do not know quit. And worse, it ends up affecting other people too, and sometimes I just miss opportunities that could have resulted in very good situations.
Maybe give "holiday" for the heart to be more correct output, so that he could organize and assimilate everything that happened in the recent past.
But this idiot (the heart) does not want to vacation. Still wants to beat, despite only picking up lately.
I know for decisions in this field is necessary consensus among stakeholders ... I may have to stop being so stubborn (as I was told that I am these days) and give a little on some things.
But to reach a consensus, it is necessary that all involved give in a bit to result in a reasonable compromise and that satisfies both.
Have you got lost on the subject he wanted to expose ... I'll let things happen on their own to see what will give (at least until the heart to organize a bit).
Returning a few days ago, the fantastic experience of living for four months in another city - a friend and I were commenting on how much is unnecessary and sometimes inconvenient to the accumulation of material goods. Yes, because when I left here to live in this city took just as much luggage to pack my suitcase to go back, I found, quite surprisingly, that even this little that we take our belongings on the trip, do not use even half.
And thinking about it, I see that the more things I have, the less free I am, because I end up suffering the interference of attachment and, therefore, I feel much more limited for so many opportunities that life offers.
I know it's very exciting to have well-furnished houses, clothes and fashion shoes, jewelry and comfortable cars. But if you have the chance to see the world and experience other cultures, all that you appreciated his life will not be able to go with you, and thus know many people who fear changes in their lives - in all directions - precisely because they have, of course, to exercise detachment.
Therefore, one of the biggest lessons I learned in this period outside our house is that, more than ever, we need to simplify our lives and aprimorarmos cultivation than it really is eternal, constructive and does not occupy any space: our moral values, because they fit into any places or cultures, and we can and should carry with us forever!
Complement this reflection, with a little story about the wisdom of simplicity, by an unknown author: "It is said that in the last century, an American tourist went to Cairo, Egypt, in order to visit a famous sage. The tourist was surprised to see that the wise man lived a very simple and small room full of books. The only pieces of furniture were a bed, a table and a bench. 'Where is your furniture?' - Asked the tourist. And the wise man, and quickly responded with another question: 'Where is your furniture? "Very surprised, the tourist said,' My!? How so? I am here just passing through ... 'And then the wise concluded:' And I also - I'm here just passing through! "
God gave us two eyes, two ears and one mouth.
So we should listen more, observe more and talk less.
But we must speak.
With the advancement of communication, people are losing the habit.
Messages through Internet and phone can sometimes work.
But as a mere warning.
Most of the time instead of explaining they generate a misunderstanding.
An e-mail, social networks, nothing ... NOTHING that replaces one in the eye of a good conversation.
We are beings who need to communicate daily.
We need to talk.
CONTACT need.
The technology for the purpose of uniting increasingly in isolation.
We turned artificial beings.
We created dislikes the left and right by a simple lack of conversation.
Talk is above all respect.
You explain what you think, what you want ...
It is officially communicate their desires and feelings.
Whenever you have time personally prefer a conversation.
The power of persuasion and understanding is much greater.
Nothing replaces a good conversation ...
I recently saw an interview with about virtual relationships, a young American college 28 years showed the following as a positive idea, "You can always hit the delete key."
A phrase that sums up briefly the possibilities of new rules or relationships, as well as the shape and the ground where they begin and end.
There are countless articles and research that address always with the goal of understanding a language that is becoming increasingly common among young people, causing doubts in the most conventional and that dictates the direction for where relationships tend to go.
The emergence of technology has opened doors and paths, re-created structures, behaviors redefined and expanded forms of relationships, reduced barriers, enabled fast access to distant knowledge, approached the world and its diverse cultures. Above all instituted a universe with its own language can be spoken and understood by all even if they are of different origin and far between.
Amid these changes will be shaping relationships, finding new ways, balancing, trying to survive. We saw many more people who create and take refuge in their cibermundos live in them an endless array of dreams, feelings, desires, fantasies, a world seemingly almost real, not for the fact that it comes and goes with the push of a button, turns on and off without any need to deal with the intensity characteristic of the real world with real conflicts with the demands of a real partner with the complex dynamics and disorder in the real world.
Easy, infinitely easier to be friends with three hundred social networks than five in a real network. The euphoria virtual charms as it becomes an invitation to escape from the real human suffering. Sometimes acts as a storehouse of feelings generated out of a computer screen and that there is sufficient flow in the family or real friends and companions. All are apparently very close and connected when in fact feel more distant and lonely.
Increasingly alone in their feelings, many shipwrecked and cast themselves on their cibermundos, raised, and custom tailored to their demands. Part of them by those who fit into pre-defined criteria were chosen ideals of friends, partners, boyfriends while the real have too many flaws, too many demands are too complicated. We saw the clash of strong relationships, deep and true versus the ephemeral, fragile and above all disposable. Now if a real relationship needs to happen on solid ground, with much effort and work on both sides, as would be possible to find those that work firmly in the virtual presence only, but in the absence of real? Many do not care about the answer since what is important is to be connected ... Connected to what? With who?
For many cyberspace represents a protection against a really intense, hard and too complex, a trail of suffering, conflicts, questions that make up human nature. The risks of reality become more distant as a person throws himself into this world and so abstract and follows a parallel imaginary life perfectly shaped for you.
Being in the real world, live it fully, intensely, to deal with conflicts, fears, risk is certainly more humane and undoubtedly real. Perhaps many do not want to pay the price of compromise, but by choosing this path gradually lose their humanity, relationships automate, standardize the behavior and finally plastificam life. You lose the essence of the human, the ability to contact, something very different from being connected, and gradually loses the ability to be with each other.
The internet has brought endless possibilities and massive transformations, important, but not so much technology being devoured by the point of running the risk of not transform what needs to be changed. We need to know to build bridges that lead us to new paths, the more knowledge, but also bring us back to real life and human, which we must never away for long time
kisses
Ellay
Funny how some people are disappointed with ... in fact, disappointment in itself does not exist, there is the discovery of who the person really is ...
All these years I made friends with a person from what I saw today has never been my friend. The thought of the "best friend" and now I see clearly that everything that was wrong .. I was just blind and did not realize that for nearly six years all that happened was just an exchange of pleasantries ... time I was talking to me much less than the times I talked to her. Sometimes she helped me was much lower than the time I reached out my hand. And even in the most critical moment of my life, I needed it most, she became more selfish than ever .. and on top call me selfish and say that I'm wrong and that I treat different ...
Who is selfish? One who or that which has just won?
You know .. life is a veritable box of surprises ... Now I understand why we can never say that life're horrible, there is always something more to disappoint you ... Today I went through one more sad, however a disappointment ... I am very sad, and analyzing how valid we surrender to someone, whether friend, partner, relative .. finally .... I won my limits: Disappointed with family, friends disappointed, disappointed with the emotional life, disappointed with other things that do not always have the value they deserve ...
People who can stand?? That one day I will be really happy? Because my happiness always comes with something less? one that falls outside of that will not work ever?
So let's combine? Do not use anyone to achieve a happiness that is not and never will be anyone. Even if a relationship because of appearances, certainly will not last. Happiness has to be only on you and your choices sincere, whether or not the same people around you.
Remember that time is not around, so use it for their dreams and desires then the dreams of others. And be happy!
Sorry for the outburst .. but was not able to keep this ...
Before start to see what I would write on the blog here gave me this question by the head
Love or Selfishness?
In line with the previous text, when we do something to those in need, we are glad to help, happy that it may hurt the dignity of others, for how can we feel happy to help anyone who is in a position inferior to ours?
When you really want to help, not help simply do not get me wrong, because what I mean is that in helping one, many others remain in the same situation and will want to help too, to help "kill hunger" but also creates dependence.
The addiction is that society is stagnating, but let's see, why are so many people on the street asking, why are there so many people "working to carers of cars (parking attendants)," we often yearn for and most often is fear itself , fear of scratching our cars and so diminish our patrimony.
I'm no hypocrite, neither a striker nor socialist, I am just someone who does not want to see society and those excluded from it at the mercy of the slaves and alms, alms given this right to get rid of whoever bothers you, or as already I said earlier, to take pleasure in "helping" the disadvantaged and the latter also would like to stay away from the "facility" that is begging to live.
Use your altruism in order to satisfy his ego, his pleasure, building something that could make those in need, ensuring for himself, his own life satisfaction, love and peace.
Make it your pleasure to help yourself is reversed, not pity you, for sure, when you look into the mirror of humility, you will see that you will not have its mirror image, simply by feeling sorry for itself and make nice .
Who gives to the poor lends to God, should be the contrary, to give God and lend to the poor, because only then will give due weight to what they receive. This is FACT. The overwhelming majority of only the proper value, it won through sacrifice.
"An alms, for the man who is sane, or kills him with shame or vitiates the citizen."
ellayninha1
make decisions in my life always meant to me to take actions in relations to it (attitudes). I can not choose to decide to do something in my life and not simply take the attitude that the required match. Until then very obvious? Yes, it does not really tell anything new. But among the talk (to decide) and act (attitude) exists a threshold that only the will itself can pass.
It's simple for me to say that it is necessary to decide and take the right attitude, but is neither simple nor easy to make these two things (decision and attitude) to unite and come to a positive result quealmejo or desire. Self-will to want to change these times is our "enemy" or "girlfriend" intimate, as only she can move us toward the result that I want
We have a huge list of haunts "attitude and little to reverse the will into concrete actions.,
I walk a bit harsh in recent days.
But I will not blame anyone, not ... rather, as I often do, caught my fault, I put it under your arm (while I put the tail between the legs), excuse and say goodbye.
Now, there will be different.
My rudeness is at certain times because of my inability to make me understand why some people in my personal life and some on the internet. Certain people undetermined. Have I failed to convey what I think and feel in a way that the person can understand my actions.
And not because I do not know what I feel or what I think ... the opposite: I often press me against the wall until I extract the reason for my conduct.
The point is that I am not able to express myself the way that some people can understand me. The problem is not the absence of views of these people, which prevents them from correctly interpreting what the Express, the problem is I do not know the way these people see life, why not know your language.
My simple is not the simplest of these, nor my "okay", my "like you", my "yes", "no."
Yes, it is complex. And excuse me some, I think everything complex, I think all in all, I seek always to think consistently - it's just because I like to live in body and soul that which imputes convenient for me (after all, everything in humans is interest, affection, inclination).
And also do not seek perfection - I have already refuted so many times that I know what my measurement (this time).
Hankering for clarity, for light, down to earth. I fight the insistent sense of security
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