Guys,
I am trying my hand at posting a joke which may be a “many times spun” yarn. I trust that English(who I pray wont consider me a threat to his retell monopoly) and Catfoot, the seasoned campaigners would graciously spare me of the critics’ bile traditionally reserved for newbies.So here goes.......
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em, 'which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''
The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.
This is story from Ceylon (Sri Lanka as she was known then )during WW2 when she was a colony under British rule.
The Government Stores handling scarce goods and material received two urgent requests for the identical material, white twill cloth: one from the Admiralty on behalf of the Navy and the other from the Director of Health Services on behalf of the Nurses who needed new skirts to replace bloodied ones.
Understandably, this being wartime, twill cloth was hard to come by and the material in stock could hardly service one request. The Officer in Charge of stores could not persuade either the Admiralty or the Director of HS to give way in favour of one or the other and he, in desperation referred the matter to the Governor's Office.
His Excellency, having given much thought to this vexing problem, wrote this minute on the papers he received:
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"THE NURSES SKIRTS TO BE HELD UP TILL THE NEEDS OF THE SAILORS ARE SATISFIED"
umayangani Blog (2)