Just over two months ago I walked behind my husband's coffin to the crematorium. Even though we lived separate, there is a void his death has left in me. Once upon a time I loved this man, I was his wife, we were the parents of the beautiful lives brought into this world together. I am once dead. He is twice dead. We both died together on the day our love took it's last breath. But life will go on..atleast for me. I have responsibilities to fullfil to our children. Even if you were not a part of my life, you were always a part;, the other force behind them. The other gene of their living and breathing. And you will always be. No one will take it away from you.. I lived once, then living twice.. Waiting just to die another day.
I often wondered why do we always take the risk to break our hearts.. and the answer was always love.
Love is a beautiful feeling.. no one will ever define what does love mean.. may be it differs from heart to heart, person to person and age to age.
My visit to this site was quite a adventure I must say. I was not here to search for that happily ever after, or that knight in shinning armour. It was purely based on suspicion. I found out what I wanted to find out. If you ask, if I'm broken hearted? The truth is No.
A heart can only break once. Believe me.. Broken hearts leads to recklessness. I have travelled the journey of being broken hearted to heartless. Now I am at peace.. peace with my past, my heart.. and my life.
I met quite a few nice people here. But if I have to define people, the easiest possible way is to go back to school, and draw a venn diagram.
Categorizing human nature, human brain, human behaviour in a venn diagram is not an easy task. But just in three circles it all will fit. I learnt a lot from many different types, ages, races and religions in here. Thank you for sharing your time, honesty, fears and desires. Thank you for all the lies too.
If I ever want to lose myself again, I know exactly where to come to find for a partner in crime.
And.. as for Love.. It's just a memory.. a happy memory.
And I say never say never..
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