Too much boredom will make you more into the social world.I met this guy from yahoo chat rooms before way back 2012 August. We chatted, we had talked from different things but we're civil to each other that time just a plain talk, no sweetness, no strings attached. I like him actually he's cute so i get attracted easily but he seems don't like me so he didn't spend much more time with me. Time passes,everyday i send him messages but he didn't even mind to reply so i conclude he doesn't like me so i delete him in my yahoo list. Almost one year passed,i actually forget about him. But one day, one guy send me a message on my facebook, i know it was him. I was surprised! really surprised! he said he always check me on my yahoo but he never see me online anymore so he make a facebook account and search my name along with his other girl friends. So he did found me again. Not like before that we're civil, everything turns into like we're best friends. We share different things about life, we had laughs, we fight like a cat and dog but still we remain very close. He's a very patient and gentleman while i'm a crazy and bad mouthed girl (haha!). One time he said that he already liked me. He was actually my best friend, he listen to my craziness, he's my shoulder to cry on even he's ten thousand miles away i felt his inside in my heart. We then became lovers. I told him i wanted to get marry this year so i asked him to get marry once we meet since we know each other for long time even in chat only but he refused, he said he's still have an issue with his life and cannot marry this year. If i want to marry and love him, i need to wait for him for 2 years until he finish his issues. But i was really desperate and crazy, i told him if u can't marry me this year so i will find another one, so i did. I left him all of a sudden. Unfortunately the man i found who i thought was more better than him is more crazy than me so we didn't work out. I message my best friend again and told him everything. I know i hurt him so much, he said he was very worried about me. He still accept me with open arms and he still says he loves me. Maybe i was very lucky to have him as my man, very understanding, patient, loving and serious. But i misunderstand him from his sweetness towards his girl friends. I really get jealous. Maybe i was really crazy. When i'm checking his facebook i always read those exchange messages and post from him and from his girl friends. I asked him about it but he only replied that i'm not new with that. I know his serious towards me because he ask permission to his mother if we can get marry this year and he even let his mother talk to me thru skype. One day i don't know what happen, he was gone suddenly. 4 days passed he then suddenly send me a message saying that he knows that i'm mad with him because he was gone suddenly, he said he don't have any time or chance to be online so he cannot send me messages either, but i didn't replied to him because i don't want to fight with him. On the next day i saw him online until the following days but we didn't talk to each other. I really feel bad about him. I try to check the facebook account of his girl friends then it makes me more feel bad about him by seeing those posts that he never missed any day to get in touch with his girl friends while me, he just left me hanging and telling me he don't have any chance to be online. So i freaked out, it really breaks my heart that there's some girls who's much more important for him than me. I bad mouthed him, like i almost cursed him and also his girl friends i bad mouthed trying to destroy him towards them. He deleted me from all his account but he still keep his girl friends from his social accounts and that's really hurt me so much. If those girls can make him more happy then so be it even it hurts. All our plans and dreams are wasted because of my jealousy. It's just really hard for me to unloved him. I just wish him all the best :,)
Keep searching! keep looking! that's the words i keep in my head every time i joined dating site. It's kinda funny that i believe in long distance relationship than searching and looking for someone who's nearer to my place.
I was only 24 turning 25 this coming month of May i know some people considered as young but seriously i really wanted to get marry and settle down immediately because i want to live with someone while i still have my energy and youthful so i can enjoy my life living with him, serving him and of course watch our kids growing and being with them for a long time.
I guess that's my greatest dream is to have my own family where i can find myself happy and enjoying. Unfortunately nowadays, it's hard to search and look for someone's who's serious enough, who's ready for commitment and who's willing to travel on the other side of the world just to be with you.
Sigh! I guess my plan aren't working well with my destiny and god's plan for me because the things i want most and the things i'm doing aren't all working well, they're all like a flop movie that you put too much effort and time but only few people watched it in cinemas and then leave.
In my life i never had a real love or a good relationship either. It's hard to admit that i had bf's but none of them give me flowers, i never had a valentines date or spending my Christmas with my special someone. I am always alone.
But i never give a damn because i know someday i will not received just a flower, someday i will have my valentines date, someday i will spend Christmas with my special someone and someday someone's gonna love me. #crossfinger :)
True love where are you? Sigh! it's very rare nowadays because all the gals and guys are more into playing games, sad to know. I've been a single mother at a young age, i never married. I learned my boyfriend was cheating on me so i left him and i know he's very happy because he thinks that he's out from any responsibility with our child so i let him do and believe whatever he wants. It took me one year and 3 months to moved on from him. I become bitter with all the guys that tends to hate them all. I just put everything in god's hand because i know and i believe he have his purpose why it's happen to me. One day i woke up without any bitterness in my heart and didn't feel anything bad in my heart towards the guys. So i finally say i moved on from him. Since i moved on i started to find someone, but it didn't work out. All the guys i met are into playing games and lust. I never had any long term relationship that reaches even one year, ever i never had honest. I'm serious about relationship but maybe i always choose the wrong one because i get attracted easily, i didn't take time and i don't even use my mind always my heart. I'm always wishing and hoping to find my special someone to spend the rest of my life but he's very rare like a true love. I really wanted to settle down and make my own family but i don't know when i will gonna meet my true love. Maybe i was still young and this isn't god's perfect time for me. So for now nothing to worry if i haven't found him until now because i believe that God is saving me from someone special maybe he will not come today, this month or this year but someday.
P.S. >sorry for posting this non sense blog. I just wanted to share something too :) sorry for wasting your time reading this (haha!) have a great day everyone. God bless
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