Oh no, I forgot where I was! I started writing this with the intent of creating a chronological history of music and events in my life, went on far to long, and had to edit harshly. Saved the rest to word and hope I can catch that train of thought.
The next chapter in a life (chapin ref.) would have to be marriage. Got married in 1986 to a wonderful girl, she walked out, for the last time, 20 years later a mean selfish, self-centered hateful woman. Our marriage started with me singing Randy Travis tunes and dancing her around the living room and ended with Linkin Park and me "Crawling in my sleep" (these wounds will never heal) and a whole lot of ''Numb".
Just an aside, no one has to put up with abuse from anyone, you CANNOT make them better! I know this!
This leads me to my most recent girlfriend, loving, caring, funny everything a man could want. Our music ran from the 50s to today covering all genres, just like our romance free and unencumbered. No one song was ours. Each day, every moment was filled with music, loving every minute of it. We had a great year and a half until she figured out that there was a committment issue, hers, she couln'nt. Nice guy, good heart, somethings missing, etc etc etc. Then for the first time music no longer was a friend, the comforting melodies and lyrics that expressed what was in my heart were not there, I could'nt even turn on the radio, every song touched a place deep in my heart that hurt. If a song came into my head it would only cause me pain and not be of any comfort. Music had been taken away from me. Even the mad as hell break up songs were no good, we parted as friends, goes back to nice guy I quess. There was no release, no where for the pain to go. I had no outlet, each and every day was a nightmare. I had depended on the music to cleanse my soul and now it only made living through each day more difficult. It was a rough couple of months. Eventually the music hurt less and less and I would only have to change the station on some songs, the pain faded. Now only fond memories remain, when a certain song comes on the radio, once again the music is tied to a moment in my past and can trigger a flood of memories.A single note from a familiar song will fill my heart and give me that release I need. Now the songs that brings me comfort are by Flogging Molly, "Laura", "your beauty will never fade" and a little of "Black Friday Rule" "down in this world, down and almost broken" each end of the emotional spectrum! I'ts nice to have the music back.
I had meant for this to cover much more of my life but ended up just covering some points, mostly centered around the women in my life. As time goes on I'll be writing more about the other times in my life and the music that helped me carry on. So much life, so much music!
I, along with pretty much everyone I know, have made music an integral part of my life. The raw passion and emotion it invokes in a person naturally leads them to tie lifes events with music. This holds true for the happiest of times and the darkest of times. I was just lounging around the other day and loading a new mp3 player I had just purchased, it seems I can no longer run without my mp3, I spent years running with just the music in my head and now that seems absolutely primitive! I digress, waiting I began to reflect on my lifes events and the music that seemed to help define those moments. Starting with my earliest memories I traveled down the road which is my life and found a diverse selection of tunes attatched to these memories.
My earliest recollection took place back in the mid to late 60s in Foxboro, Ma. I had a portable, read GIANT 45rpm record player that I would tote to a friends house and play records, the one I recall the most was the song "Mrs Brown you've got a lovely daughter". Next door to our little duplex lived my best friend in the world and he had an older sister, at least 14, and she was the love of my life. She knew it too! Well her mom was one of the greatest of moms in the world and realized what I was going through and kept my little phsyci safe from harm. I will never forget sitting around and listening to records with the kids in the neighborhood. You have to imagine the good old days now, the town common, everyone gathered on blankets, picnic baskets filled to overflowing, a bandstand in the corner and a real band performing. I think it was Wednesday evenings in the summer that the band would play, lots of marches, polkas etc. The one thing that fascinated myself and the rest of the kids was the tuba player. He was all decked out in his red and white uniform, gold piping shining in the evening light and blowing on his tuba like a mad man. The thing that amazed us most was that he had only one leg, he would rest his tuba on his good leg and somehow use the stump of his leg to keep time, not sure how he did that! There he would be bouncing his leg while 5 or 6 kids sat in rapt attention just outside the bandstand. Every now and then he would pause, turn his head to us, smile, give a wink and bounce his leg! We would roll on the ground and just loose all control.
Later in life, after the hormones kicked in. Music became synonomous with love and pain. My first real girlfriend was when I was just a freshman in high school. I had no idea what I was doing, how to behave or even speak most of the time. She was the first girl I ever took to a movie. Taller than me, long curly auburn hair, the face of an angel and the heart of a saint. I was head over heals in puppy love and the only thing that could express my deepest feelings was, music. The song that told the world how I felt is by Chicago and "Colour my world" said everything I never could. Unfortunetly being 14 the relationship lasted about a week before we moved on. But you never forget your first girl! The next musical interlude does'nt come untill my first year after high school. I had somehow fallen for my best friends girl and she for me. That is another story all together, needless to say girl gone, best friend is best friend again. We shared a passion and a love for the music of Harry Chapin. We spent many nights cuddled up on the couch listening to chapintunes, went to many of his concerts and was at his last concert just before he died. The man could speak volumes with a simple phrase, no better singer songwriter. Our song was "Dreams go by" the story of a couple and how they put their dreams on hold because life kept getting in the way, well life got in the way and our dreams went by.
I went on for far to long, 1500 characters to many. I will continue if no one minds, on a later blog.
I am new at blogging, so to whomever is reading this, cut me some slack!
Are there any other transplanted northerners that really, really miss snow? Seems to me every one I have met, here in Florida, over the past 11 years will never go back to snow, not even a visit in the winter time. My favorite season is the winter, I love the cold and snow! There is nothing like waking up in the morning to a blanket of new snow covering everything. I love to hike and in the winter cross country skiing takes the place of hiking boots. Just have to be careful of the hills! I was out skiing down some trails with friends when we came to a nice long downhill, clean snow, no obstacles. Being the first to run this little hill I had no idea that someone had been using it as a sledding hill and had built a large jump at the bottom. Needless to say I flew, like a bird, me in one direction and my skis in another. Fortunetly with the snowfall had been enough to soften my landing, I no longer chose to go first after that.
I have seen some mighty bad storms, winter of 78 in Mass., the blizzard of 96 in South Dakota, nasty storms at sea off the coast of Russia. Breaking ice off the bow rails to keep them from breaking off. One of the worst was a white out in the northern Black Hills (one of the most beautiful places on earth) of South Dakota. I had to drive in the left lane down the interstate with my door open so I could see the yellow line! The good news is it did'nt last long and the people there know how to drive in a storm. Not like here in Florida, when it rains everybody loses their minds and drives like they have never seen rain before, even though it RAINS nearly EVERY day!!
I remember visiting my Mom's sister, in Maine, one winter and sledding out of the second floor bedroom window! My cousins and I got a royal chewing out for that! We also did not know that my Aunt planned ahead for the next summer. While we were sleeping that night the two of them, Auntie and Mum spent some time outside making snowballs and putting them in an old freezer in the garage. While on a visit the next fourth of July, the kids playing baseball in the drive the 4 adults attacked us with the last winters snow! We spent the next hour having a snowball fight in 90 degree heat!
I pretty much miss the four seasons, hot, cold, dry, wet, sunny, grey and all that goes with it. I have been giving serious thought to moving back to the great white north. I will just have to see how it goes!
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