"The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that persons soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack"
Take me baby!
Not that I'm an expert of course but hey, it's a great way to show what parts of you think whatever. I don't place a lot of faith in these sites even though I'm on a few but did get lucky for about two years big time on MSN with girls when I did long haul. Now, I'm a bit more settled and have a focus on a business I'm trying to start and am not sluttish in the least as I'm more focused on the long term. And, find myself on these sites opening up to people. Here I find problems in people looking for a sundry list of everything they don't wish in a partner or, a fantasy list of what they have dreamed about all those years they lay in their terrible relationships.
I'm not them. I'm me and, I live a sort of carefree existence making great money and living with my landlady in her place and just being a guy getting stuff done. The rural area I live in is somewhat sparse for girls our age so, it's work late on Friday, go watch the accordion players at the local Legion and maybe to some Karaoke later, grease the truck and shop on Saturday and go out again maybe then Sunday back to work hauling grain and fertilizer.
So what are the odds I'm going to run into a half decent girl who excites me morally, lifestyle and sexually? Pretty zero but, there's always that chance so, I keep clean, well groomed and well dressed when not in jeans and sweat shirts. I have the geographical covered by being upbeat, fit, financially able and somewhat hot however, not too many fish in the pond so, I come on these sites.
I'm solvent, able to drive my truck anywhere on this continent to make a living hence, can look everywhere and, if I found the right girl, would move simply by packing a few boxes and hitting the road as my entire houseful of furniture is in storage back east anyhow. Hence, my rationale for being here is to expand my prison and maybe find somebody through opening up myself that may not be in this immediate area.
In most people's cases, they are not blessed/cursed with my ability to move out and make good somewhere else. In these cases, if I were to meet a person who was 'right' possibly she would move to me.
And here is the reason for this lengthy explanation;
This is better for finding a person suited to you than being geographically close and not having a half decent selection providing your intellect and morals are apparent. That means that while a profile can give insight, there is more understanding in forums posts, blogs and the like so, if somebody reads what I wrote and can identify with it, see that I'm a good man in a strange spot they understand me better. Everybody wishes their profile to read 'I'm honest and good' but now prove it somehow without me having to travel a thousand miles to find out and this is one of the reasons I write.
That is the reason why all of us should write. Poetry, bullshit, what they did that day or what they wish they had done that day. Just to help others understand you better. Even if you are uppity, wrong, right, silly, smart or whatever. Just write what you feel.
I woke up last night comforted by the down quilt embracing my naked body. Tensing my muscles to do a straight rise to a sitting position I hoped that the exertion wouldn't pump my blood too much to go back to sleep then made the stiff rise. Sitting with my legs crooked and wondering why I had awoken I pressed my hands across my face rubbing my eyes and then, only when I assured myself that I was indeed tired enough to go back easily did I glance at the clock - 4:17 am.
Two and a half hours to go I said to myself and leaned over to grab a drink of water. As I drank I looked outside and saw the frost that had accumulated on the ground and felt safe, secure and thankful that I was inside tonight rather than chasing down some God forsaken range road with a hundred forty thousand pound truck like I sometimes am. I placed the water on the table and for lack of anything else to make the awakening worthwhile put some moisturizer on my hands and rubbed them together and then on my face, inhaling the clean fragrant smell and suddenly, it all came back.
Alone, I was alone. I've been alone for years but here I was, completely comfortable, not wanting for anything and here, on a cold night, all by myself I was wondering why I was so able to forget what it was like to sleep beside somebody, to smell the sweetness of their skin, the movement of their body if I rose as I had and then, the innocence of their slumber when they repositioned themselves and not even miss it.
I wondered if I should feel lonely, bad, sad or hopeful that somehow, the world would find me or, I them. At four am on a frosty morning I simplified it by deeming that someday...... someday life will not be as it is.
I placed my hands against my face once more and breathed in the aroma of the feminine moisturizer. Comforted with this, I lay down and snuggled up to my second pillow, pulling it close so that I might pretend but for an hour or two that I too was part of the world.
I don't blame you for being a negative anti social recluse who is terrified of life. I don't blame myself for being encaptured by your beauty, honesty and convictions.
I blame myself for believing things would change and, for the years that I spent putting everything into our future that we would talk about with hope and promise. You know the dreams that you had but never followed through with when it was time to go. Where working together would give us everything in this moment and the next? The reward is the journey but you had no intention of taking it and instead, I found myself continually alone - trying to make it ours. Lonely within our world and then, tired of being alone, I preferred being alive among the lonely than alone with a dead woman.
Yes, it takes two to tango but, it only takes one to try to do it with a dead person. That one was me for fifteen years. To close this letter, I wish to apologize to you for the insult but it is reality. Many men leave a woman for another believing things are better in another place. I left you for nothing knowing that it was lonely where I was going. I just knew it was less lonely than if I had stayed so your rival is emptiness.
Mumbai is the second time that Lashkar-e-Toiba has put the two countries on a war footing. In 2002 each mobilized one million men for nearly a year after Lashkar attacked the Indian parliament. The recent Mumbai attacks have led to rising public anger in India against Pakistan and some have even called on Asif Ali Zardari to go to war.
With goals of creating a fundamentalist Islamic Caliphate in the region, Lashkar-e-Toiba and Al Qaeda have found themselves with common beliefs and, enemies. With Pakistani forces besieging Taliban, Al Qaeda and other militant groups on the border with Afghanistan as well as US and NATO forces, the news that Obama is planning on sending over twenty thousand more troops cannot come as welcome news. Hence, this is a strategic ploy to provoke the two old enemies - India and Pakistan - with a terrorist attack that pulls attention away from the tribal areas.
There are three strategies involved here;
1. To precipitate a build up of Indian forces which would force Pakistan to pull troops from tribal areas and the Western border with Afghanistan to the Indian border;
2. Provide a more complicated problem for US and NATO forces to deal with other than finding and targeting Taliban, Al Qaeda and other Islamist Radical Jihadists; and
3. Possibly, with well timed yet steady terrorist attacks actually push the two into war itself. A war which would only have one winner - those who are not in power at this moment and thus, have everything to gain and little to lose. If the two countries build up forces in anticipation of possible hostilities, they will be acting out the script laid out for them by Al Qaeda and Lashkar-e-Toiba and, setting the stage for the next act(s).
Many believe that the Pakistan government, army or its Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) were behind the attack however, with Islamists threatening to throw Pakistan into revolution, it can hardly afford a rise in tensions with India when it is rife with problems such as a huge economic crisis, insurgencies in Balochistan/North West Frontier Province, rising violence in Karachi and one-third of the country out of control of any constitutional authority.
Certainly Pakistan needs to take uncomfortable actions by taking a more aggressive stance against these groups and, stop being reluctant to deal with the insurgency in the tribal areas. Another action that needs to be maintained and, cultivated is the peace process with India. Every effort should be made to have transparency and scaling down of forces in order to maintain the shaky trust that has been built up. Pakistan's other problems could well overwhelm the government - a troop mobilization is the last thing it needs.
Here, US Secretary of State Condelizza rice is key for both these parties and, it is not lost that she has gone to the region to further broker this process and, not let the two regress into the script written by the Islamist Radical groups who seek to orchestrate this misadventure. Possibly, if there is cooperation on both sides, they may even agree to find solutions for perplexing problems such as Kashmir in the process.
India in turn has it’s own problems in that public sentiment towards the weak government cries out for revenge, not further trust with Pakistan, the country where these acts originated and, to invoke stronger anti terrorism measures.
It seems clear that if both countries are to not only survive this crisis and actually move ahead with some positive results, they may actually have to defy the mood and opinion of their people of their respective countries to do so. In any case, to even maintain the shaky peace involved, they will have some hard times ahead of them simply to keep their governments heads above the public sentiment.
IT IS THE SOLDIER
It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.
(By Charles M. Province )
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