I have written many things in my time but never a Blog. I dabble mostly with poetry. I find poems the only way I can express my feelings, thoughts and inner sanctum.
I had some one in my life some time back and recently I was reflecting over her and other relationships. I wrote this poem. I suppose a part of me wants to hear from her and another part wants to get together with her. Mostly though I just wanted to express my feelings so I can learn to let go and continue to grow as a man.
My Dear Muse
I felt despair in your voice
Hidden away behind choice
Though a smile did come through
This feeling resonated true
So these words I did write
With hope to shed some light
For the joy your voice brings
A happy sound that really sings
Thursday, 4 December 2008
12:34:45 AM
Thank you for reading I hope perhaps this may mean something to someone and maybe help them in their search......
Leave your vent open and people look in
Not very often are you likely to win
Unless you’re with the one you can trust
Who will do for you what they must
Hold you if need be
Guide you so you can see
To be a rock or an ear
They will always call you dear
Lean on me so you can vent
Just remember I can be bent
My twisted eye you can use
As long as you remain my muse
Peter
Tuesday, 30 September 2008
10:02:18 AM
What does that mean. I thought I knew who I was looking for and somehow I still do, but I am also confused. I have been asked to describe my perfect match and I can't do it. Yet in my mind and heart I know who my Ideal person would be.
I am not one of the guys who has a fetish on things like... OMG her toes are not perfect, I almost died , cried and laughed my head off when my nephew described his perfect woman, but she had two toes shorter on one foot than the other.
Sure I admire attractive woman a lady who takes care of herself is always a good sign. Over the past few years I have let myself go and now I am making a comeback loosing weight and toning up with my home gym. I have a way to go yet but I will make it.
Anyway back to the perfect/ideal match who is she? I write poetry and I find in that forum it is easier to describe the woman I seek. She will be the one who makes my feeling go crazy and all over the place. I will want to protect her and yet feel like she is my existence, and my purpose. Come out Come out wherever you are.....
When I was a young boy I used to dream about what it was like to be old to understand the differences between young and elderly people. I used to check out the wrinkles and wonder what it would be like to have them.
I suppose in some ways I was just being curious but now turning 50 I sometimes reflect. I suppose in a way it helps me to connect with my children. Somehow makes me feel better to be in touch with my youth.
Though I near 50 I don't have that many wrinkles but the aches and pains are creeping in. I got a wake up call the other day. I have not had this feeling since I was 20 odd and I gave up smoking cigarettes. Back then giving up the cigs seemed easier then what I need to do now.
It comes down to habits. The longer you have them the harder they are to give up. So rather than give up I am trying to start new habits, better ones, take better care of myself, dress smarter and keep the my presence up to a better standard.
I guess that means learning to love myself in better ways, the right ways. Perhaps then I can find someone who will love me for who I am instead of who I want to be.
I am not Mr Religion, but Thanks God for making life so interesting, confusing, challenging and fun.
I was in a romantic mood my mind began to wander to previous loves. I ended up with writing this poem titled
'You're Silhouette'
Thank you for your dreams
Thank you for your time
You are so beautiful
It could almost be a crime
The firmness of your body
The texture of your skin
The silhouette you cast
A treasure for me to win
To hold you in my arms
And feel your warm scent
We always start fresh
And end totally spent
You drive me insane
I want you to know
You are my world
And I love you so
It's now 12:30am and I am asking myself all sorts of questions. At age 49 you'd expect some certainty in life. Knowing where your at and where I want to be.
I think I had a better answer to these questions when I was aged 22. I suppose that's because at age 22 I was unbreakable. now pieces of me have broken. Life becomes more valuable as you get older. Does that make it less bearable?... no! Just ever changing. The way it is supposed to be.
I am fortunate to have two great children they have grown into young adults and are now paving/carving their way in life. Like any adult I want to guide my children.... Why are you doing that? No that is not the way? You should do this? Why are you ignoring me? and so many more questions .The hard part is not hassling my children with these Questions.
Lessons in life continue and remain so varied. Somehow I have stumbled my way to where I am now. Some of it good and some of it bad. My acceptance of my life is perhaps the biggest guide I can give my children. I am who I am because of who and what I have been. And if I can get my children to see that ASAP then they will realise the importance of the path and find their own success in life.
Any real parents legacy is to see their children succeed.
I often wonder about winning.
I have won a few things in my time and I have come second, third and even finished last. When it's over it's over. the taste lasts a few days even a few weeks but eventually you get over it.
What really lingers with me is the path taken the sacrifice needed to achieve or put it all on the line. In hind sight I see all my victories my losses and seconds, thirds and whatever as pleasant parts of the whole experience. I won't kid you or anyone that the losses did not hurt or disappoint me. I am probably one of the fiercest combatants I know and losing is never an option when I compete.
However what stays with me is knowing the effort I put into my activity, I really know if I fell short someway, or if I could have tried that little bit harder. I am sure we all know this experience. The feeling is more than regret, sometimes I feel that too but regret is a waste unless I learn from it and improve for the next time.
No, what stays with me is knowing the struggle I have with myself finding that balance that allows me to be at my best. Not always an easy task dare I say.
This holds strong in my life I am nearing 50 and like most I may claim to have the answers....... but deep down we all know we are not the complete package.
I am but the sum of all of me that proceeds me up to and including this point in time, I am in constant flux and must always accept this to move forward. Again I have written a poem that hopefully comes a way towards expressing myself.
Takes It All
The winner cries tears
Of hard work and toil
A conquest of fears
To make a heart boil
With every step to see
All that can be done
Where you need be
Until you have won
A judgement of worth
The distance one makes
The fireplace hearth
And what it takes
Pinnacle, chequered flag, gold
The search comes to end
Not all victories this way fold
A winner’s path will often bend.
Sunday, 23 November 2008
2:40:59 AM
Thanks again for reading my Blog
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