Well, its a little different, but if you apply a bit of pre-screening, your chance of wasting a lot of your time with losers will decrease. Here are some of my criteria:
(1) No-one more than 100 miles away tops- Long-distance romance ain't my thing.
(2) Any, I mean any talk about money, scares me away faster than a scorpion in the sleeping bag. I don't want to deal with gold-diggers of any kind, especially due to my very modest amount of gold.
(3) A too-long list of requirements starts to give me a headache. I know that a lot of people are rigidly against smoking, while, by contrast, people are MUCH more reluctant to condemn drinking, or admit to any religious beliefs. Actually, I am reasonably openiminded about all three issues. Also, I am struck by the fact that 99+ % of the people on dating web sites say that they are against drugs, yet the USA seems to support large chunks of the economies of Mexico, Afghanistan etc. with all of the drugs consumed here. Maybe people who post on computer dating sites are much less prone to bad habits?
In my love life, I have mostly stuck close to home. I had only one somewhat long-distance relationship-150 miles. Its too bad that the practical difficulties of long-distance are intimidating, since there are some really hot-looking women here who live far from my own North America. I am curious to know if anybody has tried the long-distance thing and made it work.
This advice can be used by both men and women. I do not pretend to be an expert, only someone with opinions.
If you approach someone and they don't want anything to do with you, don't take it as meaning that there is something wrong with you. You might not be their type, or they had a bad day. Just move on.
Also, if you get no as an answer, don't become a stalker, just go away. I know that in comedies and chick flicks, a common theme is the persistent guy who relentlessly pursues the girl and finally wins her, but in real life that's not how it works. In real life, its at best annoying, and at worst frightening.
It's hard to launch myself into the single world after 18 years of marriage, but I will hold my head up and stay positive and keep a sense of humor. I do have a job, not a good one, but a very secure one. Right now, with unemployment nationally, at 9.4% and rising, how many people have what I consider a secure job, in the European or Japanese or Civil service sense- something that you have legal rights to, which can only be lost after a very expensive buyout? Not too many people.
I have a decent relationship with my kids. I am separated, not divorced. In a very odd way, our society has made a fetish out of codifying and agonizing over the exact stage and status of relationships, and who is available and not available. Maybe this is a way to make sense out of what I see as a world that has gone increasingly crazy. So someone who has not legally severed the last link with the ex is taboo to many.
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