I sit here and watch as the world rolls by, wondering and thinking of you, missing you.
I am alone, tortured, and abandoned in misery, the chains of loneliness and pain bind my soul ever so tightly, each link grinding and tearing against me, weighing oh so heavy.
Where once my eye's seen beauty and color they see nothing but shades of black, swirling and moving around me.
So as I sit here in this darkness that is surrounding me, I have to wonder.
Am I truly alive in this world?
Am I meant to wander this earth alone and unloved?
Or am I just a shell of what I could be, want to be.
I want to break free of this world that binds me, shackles me, digging it's thorns into me, dragging me into this place of no memories.
I want to be alive,
I want to love,
I want to live.
By Mvan
Have you ever missed someone so badly
that it felt like your world was being ripped apart slowly,
piece by piece,
inch by inch,
watching as the pieces slowly fell,
reaching for them only to watch your fingers go through them like smoke?
Have you ever missed someone so bad,
that when you roll over to touch your loved one and they are not there you wake and can still feel the warmth,
the softness,
you can still smell the scent of them and when you realize they are not there,
you bury yourself in the memory of them?
By Mvan
There is always something worth learning in the soft fabric of this world, always something worth seeing. Remembering your first kiss, warm, soft and timid. The first rain drop, how it tickled running down your face, remembering how the rain sounded on the tin roof, like a comforting song. Remembering running free in a hot jungle, building forts with your brother and sister, then coming home and seeing the look on your parent's face saying "They made it back". Getting run over by bull calf, bucked off a mule, rolling your brother down the side of a hill in a 55 gallon drum watching as it bounced off of boulders. Running into a barbed wire fence at a run and getting your belly tore up as it slung you back a few feet. Sticking your tongue out and catching your first snow flake. The joys of growing up.
By Mvan
This time without you I have been nothing but an empty shell of a man.
I have walked a fine line between light and darkness looking for you.
Traveling but never finding you.
I didn't know where to look,and when I was losing hope of ever finding you,
you came to me, clearing the darkness from my mind, giving me light.
I have searched this life looking for you, reaching for you, crying out to you.
My heart, my soul wails and screams for you.
Its been a lonely journey without you.
Take my hand and lets complete this journey through life.
You know.
By Mvan
Dreams and love,
swirling and moving all around us,
engulfing us in it's hold of passions,
needs and wants
By Mvan
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