Who needs honesty? Who needs innocent love? Everybody just talks and talks and writes and writes! So many many people pretend that they are searching for love, honesty, loyalty, kindness, and things like these. But they lie. They feel they need these. They are wrapped in material desires and then they long for love and honesty. When honesty is revealed, they are going to die!
This is a big-bang problem for anybody to know who knows what, isn't it?
Unfortunately, these jokes, I think, are going to reflect a bad image of me BUT it really bothers me when I see some foolish people can't understand the meaning of a LITERARY life. I hate some foolish and crazy girls whose traditional etiquette makes me sick. They think a joke about deep phenomena of life is to destroy a social life! They should be just called pedants. They think I post these just because such jokes are produced by CRAPPED minds! BUT NO! They don't know anything about Jonathan Swift, they don't know anything about Alexander Pope; they don't know anything about exaggerating deviations so that crooked humanity can enjoy an honest life. What is the meaning of polite manners? They live in Europe but, unfortunately, they don't understand the meaning of a postmodern life. Let me put it in a very stupid way: THESE GIRLS ARE CRIMINALS of CIVIL SOCIETIES. I stop my critically shaped funny jokes and I hope smile will appear on their faces just when a polite prince will come from the heavens and will take their hands and will fly to the HELL.
But here I should appreciate some guys whose reactions reflected socialized attitudes towards our world in which we might laugh not because of fantastic joys but perhaps because of an intelligent understanding of rampant bitter issues.
I really miss Ben Jonson, Lord Byron, Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, and so many others who rose to the challenge to fight against pedantic interpretation of life. Of course, these were on the literary side; psychological minds such as Freud and philosophical ones such as Jacques Derrida are really really missed.
Thank you so much.
BYE
Some have found their Miss/Mr Rights at the CS. But what about those who have not found their missing halves? If a cyber-army of scammers attacked this site, what should be done? If the economical instinct of the technicians were teased, and they had such new plans for the site as categorizing the members into golden, silver, bronze, wooden, soil,….! What should be done? Who would sacrifice his/her Credit Card to become a golden member to enjoy various and sundry parts of the site? If a super-power virus called “Anti-CS” were developed to paralyze the site, what should be done? If hostile legionnaires from the Mars tended to attack and kill brutally those who are searching for their beloveds, what should be done? Oh, NO! If you suddenly woke up in the morning and came to the PC and got on and browsed the CS and found the site and everything OK, but not aware of the fact that the site is in the hands of scammers who pretend to be the site’s officials so that they could pierce into your PC’s when you are on and enjoying writing romantic messages to your beloveds, but unaware of the fact that phony technicians are downloading the data from your PC’s, a spooky hacking!, what would you do? Imagine you had done your best and hit on a gal in a long run and now she loves you so much and would die even for your eyes! But suddenly hackers, or let me say Anti-CS Intelligence Service steal your pretty gal! Oh, what would you do? What? What? If George Bush decided to come and be the president of the Cs, what would be your reaction? If he came and ordered and recruited members to organize an army to fight with his quixotic targets, who would obey? Oh, What should be done? “CS or not CS; this is the problem.”
I hear through these sites lovers meet overseas beloved who are too far away to feel their lovers beside. They ignore some true lovers just because they don't live, for example, in a 5000-KM-distance of theirs! In fact, they are going to choose their lovers from a restricted district so this means if they fail in finding an ideal Mr Right, they can't say there is no Mr Right or they can't say at these sites it is impossible to find a Mr Right! Right? So what should be our pre-requisites for finding a Mr/Miss Right? What about distance? About job! Imagine you have a beloved in another country who can't come to you and you can't go to her. Why? For example, he can't take some days off because he has already taken so many! And she can't either because, for example, she is a university student! What should be done when such probs add insult to injury? And what about the words "Mr Right" & "Miss Right"? Could we have such words at all? What about LOVE? Is it possible to be in a STEADY love with an overseas Lady/man?
Dear Child,
I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom. Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two other friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Your mom.
NB. The jokes are not mine.
A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her introduction, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.She said, "Let's start with the boys first".The boys start giving their introduction. First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, OK. In fact we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next" .Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. OK next" .Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. OK next".This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach immature boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please" ..First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds".Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. OK next".Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes" ..Teacher "Now that's like educated grown up girls. OK next. You sweet girl; Yes you...".The most beautiful girl in the class: "M' am, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day".
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him.
Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.
The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.
The priest then asked him again, " Charlie, did you take any of the offerings?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you."
The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can't hear you."
Finally, the priest yelled, "CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERINGS?" Again, the reply was, " I can't hear you."
The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"
To which the priest replied, "By golly, you're right, you can't hear in here!"
Dear Reader,
What does a girl really want?
The answer to this is what I want
This is—I think—a big question even for Immanuel Kant
Of course, this question is a front
The main one is: what does a girl not want?
I hope you’ll help me, but if you can’t
Please don’t pull a stunt.
Love,
Manstunt
Why? This is a really big crisis; why? Do you know why?
"One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly."
NB. Jokes are not mine. I wanna share smiles with you.
Henry and his over-developed wife were sitting in the stands waiting for the football game to begin. A friend walked over, said, “Hello Henry,” gave Henry’s wife’s breast a little squeeze and walked away.
A few minutes later another guy walked over, said, “Hello Henry,” then, he too, fondled his wife’s breasts and walked on.
This strange sequence of events went on for some time.
Finally a man sitting next to Henry spoke up, “Listen pal, It’s none of my business, but isn’t it a little odd that at least twelve guys came by, said hello to you then grabbed your wife by the breast? What’s the story?”
Henry looked at him and moaned, ” What can I do? If I leave her at home, she sleeps with everybody!”
NB. The jokes are not mine. blah blah blah.......
Redrose2009 Blog (15)