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common sense :- don't open if you haven't got any

An Obituary printed in The Times - not a joke and makes you thinkā€¦

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets theworm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with s*xual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and should you do so the burglar would sue you for
assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim?

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. 


thumbs up from me teddybear peace not written by me i am not that brainylaugh
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The perfect couple (if nsoh do not read)

The perfect woman found the perfect man.

They got married and had a perfect wedding.

They bought a perfect house, and lived a perfect life.

One day the perfect couple went for a drive in their perfect car.

Driving down these perfect country lanes they came across a person hitch hiking.

Being the perfect couple they stopped to give the person a lift, they realised that the person hitch hiking was Father Christmas.

They drove further along these perfect country lanes, and they had a crash!

WHO SURVIVED?











ANSWER The perfect woman


LADIES READ ON

Well ladies the survivor was the perfect woman as we all know that there is no such thing as the perfect man, and Father christmas doesnt exist.

LADIES STOP READING ANY FURTHER!


Well men as the woman was driving and crashed if proves that we are not always the better drivers.


LADIES STOP READING ANY FURTHER!

Well this proves that women seldom do as they are told.



hope it made you smile on a really wet horrible daylaugh grin teddybear
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