I've immersed myself in Joni Mitchell-land the last few days. I go through phases where I like to listen to certain artists, music, or genres. It's been Joni for the last 48 hours. And I've been having this raging debate with myself about what I consider her best work. In among the more mundane aspects of life such as dishes and feeding dogs, laundry and weeding, bills and paperwork, I vacillate between one and the other.
Is it "Amelia?" Or is it "Cactus Tree?"
In "Amelia," Joni compares her life to Amelia Earhart:
A ghost of aviation
She was swallowed by the sky
Or by the sea, like me she had a dream to fly
Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarmHer dream to "fly" was her dream to love. And I dig the line, "It was just a false alarm;" it's fraught with personal meaning.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Others just come to harm
Oh Amelia, it was just a false alarmWhen I listen to "Amelia," I sense Joni's need to escape, to remove herself from her own existence in order to find herself. I get this restless feeling throughout it, and feel her inner conflict of wanting to be independent while craving love and companionship.
I wish that he was here tonight
It's so hard to obey
His sad request of me to kindly stay away
So this is how I hide the hurt
As the road leads cursed and charmed
I tell Amelia, it was just a false alarmMaybe I've never really loved
I guess that is the truth
I've spent my whole life in clouds at icy altitude
And looking down on everything
I crashed into his arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm"Amelia" symbolizes the lone traveler in life; Joni was "looking down on everything" from Amelia's view and "crashed into his arms," fell in an unrequited or impossible love.
*Sigh.
In "Cactus Tree," I see more of the internal conflict which fueled so much of her early material.
There's a man who's climbed a mountain and he's calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles away
He calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaly towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being freeShe is unsure of how to open up completely; her love is restrictive, a barrier to her freedom.
There's a lady in the city and she thinks she loves them all
There's the one who's thinking of her
There's the one who sometimes calls
There's the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her for eternity
And she's so busy being free"Cactus Tree" is about love and freedom, and how to reconcile the two extremes.
There's a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
There's a jouster and a jester and a man who owns a store
There's a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While she's so busy being free
She doesn't want to settle for an ordinary life. Her heart is "full and hollow, like a cactus tree" - the metaphor describes the frustration she felt at herself in being so closed off to others.
*Sigh.
I still can't decide. I like them both best.
longhairedwoman Blog (8)
