Well, I figured I would write a little something here, expressing my feelings.
Let me start first by saying, DONT TRUST ANYONE!!!!!! lol.. ok..
I currently reside in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area. I moved here as a result of a very bad relationship. Let just say, she had some problems... Not that I dont, nor we all. Coming home from work to an empty home where everything you ever worked for is gone.. I consider that pretty evil, specially when it was done for a "problem" she had. Anyway, back to the story, I moved here to Texas with nothing but the clothes on my back. I stayed with my father, whom I hadnt seen since I was 5, but things didnt work out. So I applied for the only job, that a man with no home,vehicle or basically anything could do..driving 18 wheelers cross country. I absolutely LOVED it! The freedom is unexplainable. Traveling and seeing places Ive never been was a great.
Anyway while out on the road, I communicated through facebook and this social site to try just having someone to talk to, someone to understand me and vent to. Soon after joining this site, I met a girl on here and we began to text,then talk on the phone. She struck me as being a honest person,someone that I was interested in. He hit it off pretty good at first. Being that our home terminal is in Dallas and she lived in Ft.Worth, it was a good way to slowly spend time together. Well we met and went out. Over the course of the months, I would take time off work and spend it with her. The first incident occurred in 4 months into our relationship. I came home for Thanksgiving to visit her. While on my visit I get a strange text from a guy asking me if I was "her" boyfriend. I thought..hmm.. "yeah".. So he asked to call me. He did and explained that he had been also seeing her. Well long story short, I left,she cried and begged and I fell for the "your always on the road" story.
Well 2 months later, I saved up money, got off the road and we moved in together. Over the course of the the next 6 months, it was a roller coaster. I treated her and her DAUGHTER, like queens. I took a local job and worked my butt off while she sat at home, watched "reality tv" and did absolutely nothing. Not only that, I was cheated on several more times, with admittance and proof.But again, I felt bad for the tears she would spill.
Fast Forward, One day I was at work, I called like I usually do to tell her Im heading home. Well no answer..hmmm.. I get home and all her belongings are gone. Again I called, no answer, then I get a text message saying "its not you but I dont love you anymore"... ???? huh? Its not me?? WTH does that mean???
Anyway, I later find that she had left me for her "rehabilitated EX-HUSBAND,whom she divorced while we where together, whom also just spent 9 months in jail.
Fast forward, I left to get my head straight, back to Louisiana, Im back now, back at my old job, getting ready to go out on the road again.
Anyway, the point of this story is that I dont understand, why I dont deserve love? I know that I am not perfect, most good looking or have money falling out my pockets, but I have heart that is bigger than you can imagine. Back home I am told, that I am "too good" to women. I dont understand, I thought women wanted to be treated good?? Am I wrong?? And no its not the whole, "lack of confidence in myself". I consider myself to be a humble giant, all though Im a small guy..lol.. What I mean is, I am as gentle as a feather falling to the ground, but Im Irish, so Im a fighter.. I have best of both worlds.. I dont abuse, belittle, mistreat. I love, care, trust and respect. I put my own feelings aside before the ones I love.
Anyway, I have tons to say, but I know that reading all this can probably be boring. So with all this said.. Love sucks....Well I guess it does until I find my true love.. If there is such.......
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