thinking back to a few years ago..

i was married working in a job i loved, my son was born, i was going to the gym and in the best shape of my life.then it all went south somewhere. my wife was cheating on me with someone from work.. ii got diivorced changed jobs had a long bitter custody battle.a nervous breakdown,a car accident that caused me to loose basically everything.. was hospitalized for dvt and multilpe pulmonary embolisms..ive tried so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel..

now here it is going into 2008!!

i have been back to work at another job i like gotten numerous awards even the 1 im most proud of which is the glastar award for outstanding maintenance person of the year.. it was a state wide honor..

something is missing..

im finding myself feeling like something is missing.. that awsome feeling of having someone to come home to..
i have my son but its just not the same. i miss that family feeling..

now here is the kicker. i find myself being so picky about the prospective people to date.. though i find many women attractive some i just cant see myself with.. being a bigger guy i really shouldnt be picky about what she looks like but i am.. i want that one that when we are together everyone looks at and wonders how the hell did she end up with him?

i dont know just a couple thoughts running through my head.. maybe more later..

Comments (3)

OverTheWindow●Chicago, Paris, Marseille, Illinois USA

Dec 27, 2007

2008 is announced in few days for all of us, poor man in a poor humility state. Your words make me think about how terrific is life, how surprising, days that pass, always the same and never similar. Things happen to us and it never stops like a merry-go-round, we have the head and the heart upside down in many times during the journey! But as all good kids we stayed inside, deeply, we can laugh after the fears, because we still live and breathe, then nothing's ending.

You know what? I wish you peace, love and happiness

zira9888●newport, Isle of Wight, England UK

Dec 28, 2007●11 Comments

Im sat here thinking how you must feel right now, and I do in a way understand what you mean when you meet up with new people, I think you are in the confused state of mind I was in a while ago, and bleive me, my heart goes out to you.I dont know the remedy, im trying to work on that one right now myself.I have told myself to get up, and mix and live..no one, but no one has the right to do that to you and your life..hang in there ok, you are doing well, have faith, and I know with a child to care for too, it makes it harder, Iv found that too...just please find some faith in something, you, karma, spirits, whatever, and confide in them..be strong, you deserve better,,and if i can say that, beleive it, as its from the heart...good luck, and give your son a hug too...xx

Starr2●indianapolis, Indiana USA

Jan 6, 2008●2 Blogs●8 Comments

Instead of being alone you should look whats on the inside of a person instead of basing all on whats on the outside. Remember you can't be a 7,8,9 or 10 forever and what we all have left is what is on the outside.Just a thought

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thinking back to a few years ago..

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