High Tech Man
A man walks into a bar and sits down right across from the bartender. The bartender sees the man poking at his hand and putting it next to his ear, and asks him, "What are you doing?The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone.
After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his butt. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!"
The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."
Comments (1)
Delivering A Baby
Delivering a baby can be tricky. First of all you've to to find somewhere to park your van. You wouldn't want to get clamped. Then you've got to make sure you've got the right baby. So remember to check the address on the baby against the delivery docket. Next you've got to find the right house, and even then they might not be in. If this happens, fill out a form to say the baby was undeliverable and pop it through the letter box (the form, not the baby). If they are in, give them the baby and make sure they sign and date the docket before you leave.
Voila!