first blog...intro and venting....

Hrmm... new feature here, figured I'd give it a shot. Any basics you need to know about me can be found on my profile, though I'm sure anything else you might want to know will come out eventually.

Hung out with my ex for a while today, to help him babysit Em. She's a gorgeous little thing; 5 months old with greyish eyes and a head full of of auburn hair. She's such an innocent....it made me burn to find out what happened to her.

Em's mother isn't exactly someone that I would consider a competent human being, let alone a decent mother. She's already lost custody of 4 children, and the only reason this one wasn't taken immediately was because it had been over 5 years since Children's Aid had been in her life. All she had to do was take a 4 week parenting course and she was in the clear again. Anyhow, she was living with a guy who was a known drug user and an all around lowlife. Just didn't know how bad a lowlife he was until last week. She came home from work to find him molesting Em. She's 5 months old, and he violated her in the worst possible way. I didn't see the damage until today.

Allow me to backtrack a little bit. My ex's little girl is Em's half sister through her mother. In the hopes of making things easier on his little girl, my ex offered to help out with Em by babysitting, not only to make sure the little one was taken care of, but also to allow for his little girl to spend some more time with her little sister, hence the baby being with him today. Anyhow, when the time came to change little Em, she started freaking out the minute he put her on her back; I had to take over and change her so she'd calm down. That's when I saw the bruises. I'd known that her mother's boyfriend had touched her, but I had no idea to what extent until today. I've never felt so angry in my entire life; it was all I could do not to break down crying at the thought of anyone touching this little girl like that. She's so very young; I have no idea how much of this will affect her later in life, but right now, that innocence, that perfect trust that every baby should have in those that take care of her.....it's gone.

In my entire life, I've never really felt the urge to end another's existence until today. It was all I could do not to leave my ex's place, find that depraved, twisted sack of fecal matter and watch the life leave his eyes as I crushed his throat. It doesn't matter that he's been formally charged. It doesn't matter that once he's put away, his chances of getting out alive are slim to none. He needs to pay, and he needs to pay dearly. There's a good chance that Em was not his first, and I have this sick, sick feeling that she may not be his last if he has any amount of time free before they lock him up.

I try to stay open minded, and I try to look at both sides of the coin before I make a decision about anyone or their actions. That goes right out the bloody window when it involves anything with children. You do not beat them. You do not harm them in anyway. And you certainly, under any circumstances, touch them in any s*xual way. She's not even old enough to speak the word 'no'!!! I have no leeway for people like him. I have no mercy for people like him. It's only a matter of time before word spreads and people find out what he's done. This is one case where I'd have no problem with joining the angry mob.