Five Six Pick Up Sticks EJ Lamprey Book
by EJ Lamprey

Storyline

Website dating for the over-fifties is definitely a boom industry, but for some it has been a dead end, and the Scottish police want to know why. Sergeant Kirsty Cameron’s aunt Edge is the right age to become the bait in their investigation, and even has some recent murder-solving experience on her CV, making her the perfect candidate.

The third whodunit in the Grasshopper Lawns series dives gleefully into the murkiest end of the senior singles dating pool (where the predators lurk) with Edge secretly hoping to meet someone special. It’s spring, and it seems the rest of the world is in love, is there someone out there for her? Preferably not the murderer, of course.

The murders of the recent past were solved with her friends Vivian, Donald and William, but this investigation is so covert, not even they can know why she is suddenly so keen to meet a series of slightly dodgy men. They do insist on riding shotgun in the pubs and restaurants all round the beautiful Forth area in Scotland, which is a bit of a nuisance when Mr Right does come along. Unless he’s just another dead end…

Excerpt: “Non-smoker, light drinker, fit, just under six foot,” she quoted and despite herself had to smile. “I’m five nine in heels, we were exactly the same height. And he reeked of smoke and cheap brandy. Teeth like a row of condemned houses. He told me he’s specifically looking for a wife, so he thought, and I’m quoting, ‘we should go away, er, for a weekend and, er, try each other out’.”

Sylvia shrieked with delight and Katryn choked on her mouthful of tea. “The man must be bluddy mad,” she said with conviction. “Edge, this isn’t safe. How on earth did you get away from him?”

“Oh, William and Vivian think it’s a hoot. They’ve been coming along to the same places and we even have a little signal when I need them to come over and join in. On Monday they couldn’t – Vivian’s not very well – so it was Donald on duty, and he scared him off in a couple of minutes. Pretended to be my violently jealous Baltic lover and Colin couldn’t get away fast enough. He bolted while Donald was dragging at my wrist and hissing at us both in broken English.”

She paused because both Katryn and Sylvia were howling, and started to laugh herself at the memory. It was a minute or two before she could go on.

“They’ve been great, William and Donald. I had a really alarming date on Saturday night, who was trying to bully me, and they loomed at him. You know how big William is, and Donald can look unexpectedly evil. The bully hadn’t a chance. Most of the guys have been okay, but far too normal for my research.”

“Well, I’m barely five feet tall; if you find a good one too short for you, pass him on. All well and good, having a toy boy on the lead, but the strong silent type can get boring, especially when they’re shy. When’s the next date? Tonight?”

“Nothing tonight. There’s one who may be too good to be true who asked me out tomorrow but...” Edge let her voice trail off. She could hardly add “But I’m waiting to hear if the police have their man, or still want to monitor my dates” and couldn’t think of anything else to say. She had every intention of continuing to put Ben off until she could meet him free of microphones and hidden listening devices.