Get it off your chest,...... just get out in the open...... ( Archived) (169)

hi,im a new 1,and i was asked to jion by an x from 20 years ago i havant seen in 10,who said theres good chats here,so i have,,,ive been singel most my life,and i havant had any interest this century lol,so of course im gonna have a look,,but a strange feeling came over me reading some of the forum,as i realised,,,IM NOT REALLY BOTHERD ANY MORE,ive spent my life trying to end up in that family of my own,,im even a 4x grandad to my 1 daughter ive never lived with but allways been ther for(she said that to me last week )but i know if thingS had been easy id of never learnt what i have,and its sooo deep id have a job trying to explain it,heres one thing - i learnt selfless love from my daughter like from times like when she said at age 9"ive got 9 dads",as shed had had at age 9,and my 1st thought is oh thats terable my second was but wait,,thats 9 people who will look out for her,,now shes 24 i can say i was corect about that and the bottom line was,WE DONT COME TO EARTH FOR WHAT WE WANT,EVEN COMING HERE IS TO GIVE,and EVOLVE, AND LIFE MEANS BEING SERPERATE FROM THE WHOLE (LIFE ITSELF ,CALL IT GOD BUT ITS THE WHOLE UNIVERSE AND ANYTHING ALIVE+ AWARE)trouble is when we come from the whole to be a seperate ego we are naturaly selfish,,whitch life will blast us apart untill hopefully theres less seperateness to us and we can then learn from life the deepest meanings ,right now im thinking the less my life is about me, the closer i am to god or life itself whitch is more the way id rather see it, as the name god has too many pictures put onto me to use any more,,,oh well im getting to deep to call it a little moan for your post,,but it helps to think my way through things on paper,,,stu