Apartment for rent (23)
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Looks like our businessman was outsmarted 
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hahaha love the contact the landlady bit
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Dear Madam:
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
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ladyfingers: Dear Madam:
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
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ty, ty, ty, I'm getting pretty good at this.
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ladyfingers: ty, ty, ty, I'm getting pretty good at this.
maybe you should start writing jokes 
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manOfewwords: maybe you should start writing jokes
Do I detect a bit of sarcasm?
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Very good
ladyfingers: Dear Madam:
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
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ladyfingers: Do I detect a bit of sarcasm?
nooOOooO 
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I think you should say congrats to her.
manOfewwords: maybe you should start writing jokes
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chris27292729: I think you should say congrats to her.
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ladyfingers: Dear Madam:
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
#1. I am sure that with the beautiful apartment you have for rent, it won't remain unoccupied for very long.
#2. The furnace apertures were rather loose from constant use and in need of professional tightening.
#3. As I have been told that my furniture is oversized, I am sure
that it would fit nicely in your apartment, had the walls not been is such disrepair.
#5. My present landlady is no longer my landlady as she got tired of my checking out new apartments for rent.
...and
#6. If you do not stop contacting me, I will call someone from the health department to check your apartment for bugs. I have had an itching problem for two weeks and I'm sure that it was caused by something in your apartment.
Dear Sir
#1 The apartment could always be occupied but not many people can afford its upkeep including yourself...
#2 the chimney sweep says there was nothing wrong with the fireplace, just that the last pipe shoved up there was too small and loose and didn’t reach the top.
#3 Oversized your furniture maybe but at the time you tried to move it in it the workman could not lift it through the door as he had been drinking
#4 I understand that counting to 4 is hard for you to do, as is the concept that ten inches is not two lots of five.
#5 I’m sure that your new landlady is as disappointed as I was that you are unable to leave a deposit.
#6 I believe the bugs you now have are as a result of you constantly checking out new apartments. You should check out your current location and ask your new landlady if the bugs where there when you first arrived or if you brought them with you.
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ladyfingers: Do I detect a bit of sarcasm?
This is what comes from watching too many ‘Carry On‘ films. Welcome to the world of double entendre.. ‘Oh No Missus... That’s a huge cucumber.....you’ve such a small bag.. It’ll never fit..’
Time for you to show what you got... Ladyfingers..lol
(It’s like a pensioners Rap battle)
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Congratulations to the OP, and the "ladyfingers",icluding "Music is LIFE" for following up. Well done.
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Created: Jun 2010
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THIS IS TOO FUNNY ... SOMETHING TO START THE DAY OFF!!!
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for $500. They did their thing,
and, before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling
the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realizing that the whole event had not been
worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and
enclose the following typed note:
'Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your
apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the check for $250 with the following note:
'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady...