Going to War ( Archived) (12)

Hey there gang... I've got a co-worker/friend named Punky well his real name isn't Punky but thats his nickname heehee, well anyways.... in less than a month he has to go over to Afganistan with the rest of our troops and he is terrified. I mean not sleeping because he has really bad nightmares, breaks down crying randomly.... I am worried about him... I mean at work he sits beside me and has told me that he is convinced (has a weird feeling) that he is going over there to die. and he is only 22 years old.
Now I am of the mind while I do respect the kid and give him mucho props for protecting me and my country..... he did sign up for the military so its not like they are pulling him by conscription or anything... but my question is:
How do you think I can help him to feel ok....? I mean how can I ease his worries.... I feel for the kid, coz he's a good kid who has such a life ahead of him and I have known other people in the military before but they were all gung ho for fighting and this boy is the complete opposite, I worry he's gonna get over there and crack up completely....
Anyone with experience with first time military personnel able to give me any advice that I can help him with? Oh yeah and he has basically NO family to rely on (his is dysfunctional)

You can't ease his worries easily, the realization that he may never ever return home is starting to sink in and he's probably playing 240000000 'what if' scenarios in his head. If it's to the point where he's having bad nightmares and breaking down.. and you think he'll crack, I think he should see his CO and ask for a psych eval - a psych eval at this point may very well save his life, especially if he's not in the mindset to perform his task overseas as he will be expected to. I am not enlisted military, but that is my .02

I agree with you, TheProfessor. He needs an eval. This very well may save his life. If he goes into battle, and breaks, not only could it cost him his life, but perhaps the lives of others. Most commanding officers (knowing of such a condition) will not make them go into combat. Please tell your friend to talk to his commanding officer.

Maybe I will suggest that he talk to his CO. I just don't know if he's going to be thinking I'm slapping him in the face so to speak..... I don't know. I guess it's one of those things that I will have to be very tactful with.
Thanks for your thoughts guys.. I appreciate it.

Where tact may fail, your caring for his well-being will make up for it. If you explain to him that what he's experiencing may very well endanger his own life, or those of his team and that he needs to speak with his CO about it it'll go much further than something to the effect of: "I think you can't handle this, you better talk to your CO and get an eval as soon as you can" - it's all in the word choice.

You are most welcome

Well I did ask Punky if he was totally committed...ect.... and he is.. he feels that we are doing the right thing by being over there.... he is intelligent in the whole warfare thingy so I asked him what was making him freak out and he said that its almost as though he feels that he is predestined to DIE over there.

I worry for this kid and as you two pointed out he could endanger the rest of the dudes he is with. He has nightmares of this roadside ambush ect.... and so he's trying to watch all the news and every scrap of anything he can find about what is going on over there....

His fears are real. Ambushs and roadside bombings occur everyday over there. He may have other fears as well. Being taken hostage may be one of them. Kieth Mappun, came from a town about 15 miles from here, was taken hostage and hasn't been heard from since.
You may want to point out that even though these things happen, it doesn't mean that they will happen to him. I was told horror stories about bombs, while being worked on, blew up and killing people but it never happened to me. I didn't fear bombs and missiles while working on them, but I had a healthy respect for them.
Yes, his fears are real. Again, he needs to talk to his commanding officer about them.

well the feelings he has may be his worst nightmares noone can ease the fact hes goin to war if he cries and has such a problem he needs talk to someone he cant do his job if hes not all there dear thats my opinion war suck but someone is gonna do it