poet's room (29)

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LOVE AFFAIR

Polly wanted love so much
she saw all the other girls chased by boys
smiling..holding hands....kissing (gulp!)
folks barely spoke to Polly
and especially not boys
she crept through life as an embarassment
a silent mass of skulking apology
her stiff legged teetering strides
left observers shaking their heads
she could rarely bring herself to look another in the face
....never in the eyes
her face always appeared as though frozen
her eyes an empty void
almost lacking life
blank of all emotion, except one...
fear...trepidation...dread
her mind a whirling nest of confusion
she had little family
her mother died in chidbirth
...Polly's birth
her fire and brimstone preacher father
had nothing to offer Polly but guilt
paralyzing her every thought and move
so she learned not to do much of either
she had no brothers or sisters
left isolated to live the hell...
her father was always ranting about avoiding
he tendered no warmth, no love
leaving her cramped alone in a cold miserable space
today is April 1st...Polly's birthday
her eighteenth, though no one would notice
but on this spring day
in her final year of high school
she became aware of something...different
in class that day, there was a new student...a boy
he acts like a shy, quiet person, she mused
later, as she sat alone during lunch break
she noticed that someone was standing beside her
it was the new boy at school!
as his voice cracked he stuttered...
'may I, um, um, sit at this table, um, with you?'
Polly was unable to breathe
til at last she squeeked out 'uh, uh, okay'
he sat down across from her
never raising his vision from his food on the table
he spoke 'uh my name is uh, Paul'
Polly's head was reeling...
a boy was sitting with her, talking to her
she muttered 'uh huh', then was taken mute
staring glassy eyed straight down before her
her heart beating as if to burst!
but not another word passed between the two
Paul ate his meal, then stood up, hesitated for a moment...
then silently, merely strode away
Polly's downward stare was transfixed...her food half-eaten
Paul and Polly never spoke to one another again
it was over...between them

PICTURE SHOW

as peepers watch they share the love
with each new word unfurled
sweet tidings raining from above
before the gazing world

but do I pry, should I spy
on other hearts' words rendered?
that is to say, am I in the way?
for not to me, are they tendered

tasty pinch of another's soul
furtive peek into their room
lips moist, eavesdroppingly patrol
the joy others share, or gloom

ever the case, tis hard to erase
the pictures framed in my mind
but they little care, do the unaware
in search of their love, to find

took off, circled, then landed...

as I watch my young ones sleeping
memory chills me to the bone
of the day I left here...alone

all the heartache and the hunger

I can't believe I did it
must have been an awful time
still, the damage was all mine

but time past spent now haunts me
without a reason why
I felt I had to reach so high

and when I did was ever fleeting

I went from one thing to another
never found that much success
supposed search for happiness

just didn't know it when I saw it
for then I was surely blind
how could I leave them far behind?

then, as touched by an angel
I found my way back home
now....no one's left alone

at last I'm through with seeking
that perfect moment to be mine
it was within me all the time

now I gaze upon their faces
and release a grateful sigh
seems at last I touch the sky

AN INAPPROPRIATE LOVE

should one express their feelings?
shall I lay my heart out bare?
to one I'm not permitted to cherish
is it wrong to say I care?
I wish to only share my leaning
yet my emotion's danger fraught
how may I speak the words of meaning?
a constant struggle with my thought
perhaps remain forever silent
wise course, could be a normal man
accept that some things were never meant
to be spoken save for they can
but turn my back on all that feeds me?
on passions path, I vowed to follow
I'm at a place, I should never be
where all my past musings ring hollow
for quite a while now it's been clear
how I feel, what must be said
prudence ever alerts the fear
for 'tis another she has wed
oh, there's more here for to know
of the one that leaves me wild
she projects that robust glow
of woman carrying her child
her first, the birth is due in may
she said, it is to be a boy
perhaps there's nothing more to say
her eyes, her heart, her love, her joy
should I be the fool and tell her?
my need, to hold her in my arms
and me, be held alone in her eyes
forever one within her charms
but no, I can not, so I shall not
disturb the life of one so dear
I must show real love for another
....merely wipe away my tears

SECOND CHANCE

there were tears...in our eyes
rain fell from the skies
the day that we lost our way

left our true love, seeking new love
or just something that few love
what it was...I really can't say


still reliving that day
through the years, come what may
now I've nearly gone out of my mind

wish for you..want to kiss you
but...oh how I miss you
would be heaven to see you sometime


I must block out the sun
leaves me nowhere to run
tries to blind me of memory of you

but I miss you so bad
I'm happy and sad
of every moment that we have been through


let the record skip back
...to that same old track
when we held..each other..so tight

if be given a chance
to rekindle romance
maybe one day, we'll see the light


it's the same old story
try to relive past glory
but I think that there's something...we missed

this time...we may feel
how to hold to..what's real
and may our love...no longer resist


celebration abounds!
we've found our fair grounds
we'll ever hold..one another..in love

far beyond our mere powers
but realizing..what is ours...
those lucky stars smiling down from above

NEXT TIME, I'LL GET A GOOD ONE

I demand satisfaction (spouted I to not one ear)
I want my maid and my cook and my servant to be here
I have been left here all alone and I find it very queer
that I must do things for myself, since you've up and disappeared
how could you ever dare to leave me after, lo, these many years
after all, you were the one I chose to fetch my evening beers
I put a roof over your head, gave you children to rear
and this is how you repay me, well, thanks a lot my dear
though I shouldn't be surprised by your petty, selfish fears
our whole sad time together was awash with your tears

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

STOLEN LOVE

nine years past you left me
lone miracle of mine
cruel fate took my life away
when you were but age nine
too far west you traveled
swept up by your mother
she burnt her bridges here
ran off to wed another
my crest suddenly fallen
I became a broken man
knocked over with a feather
through my memories I ran
our last time together
all our tears did flow
our hearts had sunk in abyss
you didn't want to go
you cried for your daddy
as your daddy cried for you
we tried to cling together
as we feared our lives were through
without you my life tumbled
for all my strength was gone
without my darling baby
no reason to go on
through years the pain has lingered
never once was there relief
I found I must embrace it
for our lives to have belief
and now you are a woman
eighteen, brave and strong
coming back to live with me
again we'll share our song
so fathers, hold your children
every chance you get
for life is surely fleeting
may you have one less regret

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

JOY

I want to kiss you so badly. I've been waiting for so long. On that soft warm earth we lie. Our arms clutching fearfully, desperately. A light breeze, silent rustle of green gently parading about us. Sunbeams dart in ripples of shade. In the air, sweetest of hints. All that I see is. Your eyes. I am in your eyes. Breath. Gasps. Our mouths dripping of time. Our loins hungrily clinging. Longing. Need. All is silent. Time is no longer. Need passes. My eyes held in yours. Yours in mine. Silent desperation is ended. We cry out, "my love"...........Our love !