the Ex ... (9)
start making small changes... a few a week, seems to me he is taking advantage girl...
stay strong
stay strong
Your letting him push you around put down your foot and let him know how you feel his using you and your just letting him
In response to: where to start....
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
sally101: where to start....
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
Seriously, get professional advice and start laying down the law!!!!!!! Sounds like a married relationship but without having to actually kiss the git good night at the end of the day??????
Sorry to seem so harsh .. but don;t let him get away with what he seems to be doing???
apply for legail aid..and get that a**hole out of your house.. and reclaim back your own life..
skinnyminnypink: Seriously, get professional advice and start laying down the law!!!!!!! Sounds like a married relationship but without having to actually kiss the git good night at the end of the day?????? Sorry to seem so harsh .. but don;t let him get away with what he seems to be doing???
That's exactly how I feel - it's not harsh - it's the truth.
sally101: where to start....
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am as to what to do.
Hey Chick, you just have to find your way... i have been doing it for nine years now, and i have to say, i didnt know where to start either. You need to sit down and think about what you want, and how you can fit it in to the family arrangement. I dont think he should be using your car, and maybe get him to take the kids out on the mid week visits rather than in your home. Make ground rules, that way you all know where you stand. The kids will be happy either way once they are getting to see their dad. Im sure you will figure it out, just take your time and do it in small stages. Good Luck!!!
dicyreilly: Hey Chick, you just have to find your way... i have been doing it for nine years now, and i have to say, i didnt know where to start either. You need to sit down and think about what you want, and how you can fit it in to the family arrangement. I dont think he should be using your car, and maybe get him to take the kids out on the mid week visits rather than in your home. Make ground rules, that way you all know where you stand. The kids will be happy either way once they are getting to see their dad. Im sure you will figure it out, just take your time and do it in small stages. Good Luck!!!
Have to agree with dicy here ....A lot makes sense ... but I would think this is a case for meditation .were both parties have to sit down and air there views . to a mediator to point the wrong doings of both .. and come up with a written agreement .
The only other advice I'd give you . and I'm sure I don't have too is always think of how things affect the kids ..apart form that consistency ....
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Created: Sep 2010
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where to start....
I have done everything I can to keep things civil with the ex, when we split he begged me not to take the kids and move, so despite having a desire at the time to run home to mummy, I did stay.
He wants to come around and see the kids 3/4 times a week but when he does, it's when it suits him - he eats whatever he likes (and always eats the biscuits, sweets, fruit etc - I don't buy much of it but it infuriates me to offer the kids a biscuit only to find an empty packet), stays for as long as suits him and gets such a pissy face on if I ask him to watch them for an hour (I have 3 times in 10 months).
When he his here all he does is moan and criticise the girls until I just want him to go and they've reached the stage where they don't want to talk to him in the evening.
he does take the girls on a Sunday but it is literally to his mothers (using my car - leaving me stuck at home) and then he goes off and does his own thing.
I asked him if he'd take dd1 swimming and all she gets is a "we'll see" and that she wouldn't swim in the sea in summer so what's the point of going swimming - she was 3, why would she want to swim in the sea ?
He uses my car 3/4 times a week and I have gone to do the school run and had no petrol
When I put it down, it seems like such little petty things but I feel that it all equates to disregard for his kids an me as their mother and I just want to give him a wake up call.
I am