the last known funny joke known to mankind ( Archived) (4)

MAMA'S BIBLE

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors
and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They
discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who
lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you
know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this
preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to
contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was
worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot
will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.
She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but

I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good.
Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could
hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and
I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a
little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Luv Ya, MaMa

At the beginning of his sermon, the pastor placed a worm in three jars. One jar contained smoke, one alcohol, and the other rich dirt. After he finished his sermon, he opened the jars. The worm in the jars with smoke and alcohol were dead, while the worm in the rich dirt was alive and well. The pastor then asked his congregation what can we learn from this experiment? A little old lady in the back answered, "If you smoke cigaretes, and drink alcohol, you wont get worms"