jokes ( Archived) (7)

Sep 8, 2011 12:02 PM CST jokes
Ur_Knight
Ur_KnightUr_KnightWindsor, Ontario Canada10 Threads 2,176 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 8, 2011 12:09 PM CST jokes
Good ones, Country. I especially like the middle one, although I would never harm a wife.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 9, 2011 11:09 AM CST jokes
a44dreamer
a44dreamera44dreamerNicosia, Cyprus22 Threads 12 Polls 237 Posts
I like the last one, so funny.rolling on the floor laughing
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 9, 2011 8:45 PM CST jokes
Rocksmith
RocksmithRocksmithLoch Sport / Gippsland, Victoria Australia8 Threads 1 Polls 1,170 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing bowing
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 10, 2011 4:25 PM CST jokes
Ur_Knight
Ur_KnightUr_KnightWindsor, Ontario Canada10 Threads 2,176 Posts
To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice:

"Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz."

While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az and especially his third cousin Beatinyou-az.

Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yo-az!
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 10, 2011 11:10 PM CST jokes
Ur_Knight
Ur_KnightUr_KnightWindsor, Ontario Canada10 Threads 2,176 Posts
A Quiz

To Keep The Gray Matter Active



1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?



Here are the Answers:

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
Answer: Johnny of course

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

You can go back to sleep now... grin
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sep 10, 2011 11:57 PM CST jokes
"Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."

tongue
------ This thread is Archived ------
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

This Thread is Archived

This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.

« Go back to All Threads
Message #318

Stats for this Thread

804 Views
6 Comments
Created: Sep 2011
Last Viewed: May 2
Last Commented: Sep 2011

Share this Thread

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here