Technical support. ( Archived) (2)

Dear Technical Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes,
such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable
programs such as Rugby , Football, Sailing and Continuous TV..........
Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate.

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I
Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works
as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications
Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application
can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer
is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in
the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work
better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot
Lingerie ..

Good Luck,
Tech Support.