AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES ( Archived) (2)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't
panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat and presto. The
blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while
slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Expletive deleted.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers:
simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your
alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the
snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large
dose of laxatives. Then you will
be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your
thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember
what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and
Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and does,
use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems
normal until you get to
know them.
Never pass up an opportunity
to go to the bathroom.